Hating God

I’ve written before about swearing at God, and being angry with God. But what do you do when, as a Christian, you feel passionate hatred and even revulsion towards God?

I see myself as a worshipper; a longing for God seems to be embedded deep in my being. Expressing love and awe and gratitude to God – and yes, yearning and doubt and even anger – are central parts of my faith and my life. But hate? How on earth does that fit in? Can that ever be a legitimate element or expression of faith in God?

God, David and Saul

Some context. Last night I was leading our small group discussion / Bible Study on David and Saul, from 1 Samuel chapter 25 through to chapter 28. In these chapters, David is narrowly prevented from killing every male in the household of someone who has refused his soldiers hospitality. To escape being hunted by Saul, he then goes and lives with Israel’s enemies for a year, making friends with the Philistine King. Meanwhile he spends his time in genocidal raiding parties where he and his men regularly wipe out whole towns of men, women and children for no apparent reason, leaving none alive in case they snitch on him.

And then to round off all this fluffy pleasantness, we have the final ruin of Saul, utterly rejected by God – apparently just for not killing all the people and creatures he was commanded to, and for offering some unauthorised sacrifices. God, we hear, has completely turned his back on Saul, is refusing to communicate with him, and is going to make sure he dies in battle the following day – and for good measure all his sons too, including the good-hearted Jonathan. So much for second chances, grace, and the infinite love and mercy of God.

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

Now, I’m uncomfortable with these kinds of Old Testament passage at the best of times; it’s just so hard to relate them to my own everyday experience and to square them with my deep belief in a God who is loving, caring, generous and merciful. But to make the contrast more stark, the previous night I’d watched The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas – a harrowing and moving story of the friendship between two boys on either sides of a Nazi extermination camp fence. The (apparently) divinely-sanctioned actions of David in the Bible bore an uncomfortable resemblance to the evils of Nazi brutality and genocide portrayed in the film.

In the film, you know that good – and therefore God – is on the side of humanity in the face of brutality. But in the Old Testament, it often seems like God is on the other side, sanctioning and commanding the killing and evil. How can the God I love, believe in and worship be the same God who oversees such merciless wholesale bloodshed? Conversely, how can I believe in and worship – let alone love – such a God? Reading these passages from the Bible I just felt horrified; this God seems monstrous, barbaric, tyrannical, unfair, unloving and unlovable. I couldn’t help it: I just hated him – I hate him – utterly and passionately.

Now I know that you can’t just read the Old Testament through modern spectacles, judging it by the standards and morals of our time. I realise that this was a bloody and brutal age; killing, warfare and even genocide were pretty much everyday realities. I know all sorts of reasons, justifications and excuses for these biblical atrocities. But the fact remains – the Bible that I’m asked to view as ‘God’s Word’ records that God commanded and approved mass killings of men, women and children who had apparently committed no crime other than belonging to the wrong people-group and maybe worshipping the wrong gods. (Which I realise did often involve some fairly unpleasant practices, to be fair.)

The God I know, and the God I don’t

It’s my habit every night before bed to go into our kids’ room and pray for them (often fairly perfunctorily, I’ll admit). Last night as I tried to pray, I felt such ambivalence. How could I pray to this God? How could I ask him to look after my children, when if the Bible’s to be taken at face value he’s overseen the killing of so many other people’s children?

And yet… and yet; I knew as I looked at my children that if God is real at all, then the goodness and loveliness I see in them comes from him and is a pale reflection of his own goodness and loveliness. I knew – I know – that the total love I have for them comes from him and reflects his own infinitely stronger, purer love. This is the God I know. I simply can’t be more moral or loving than God – that is an impossibility.

All children love their parents, but at times they all hate them too. “I hate you!” is as much a legitimate and necessary expression of a child’s feelings towards his or her mum or dad as is “I love you”. You can love and hate the same person, even sometimes at the same time. So I can and do hate God as well as I love him; indeed, I hate him because I love him, just as a child sometimes hates the parents he loves, rather than the stranger he doesn’t.

Hate is not the opposite of love, but rather its corollary, counterpart and companion. The real opposite or negation of love is indifference, coldness, a total lack of care and interest and relationship. In hating someone you actually draw close to them; fighting can be a lot like embracing. If I didn’t love the God I know, I wouldn’t hate the Bible God so passionately. It’s a bit like discovering that the dad you hero-worship is also an extermination camp guard, as Bruno does in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

The bottom line for me is – God is good, God is love, and God looks like Jesus (in character, not physical likeness). God has to be good – or he is not God. He has to be loving, or he is not God.

So the Old Testament God is a God I simply don’t know, don’t understand. I accept that somehow it is a picture of the same God (I can’t buy the easy cop-out that ‘Yahweh’ is not the same as the Christian God), but I have to put it to one side for the time being. That’s not to let him (or me) off the hook; simply to acknowledge it as an unresolved tension, an unanswered question that I have to live with. I can only follow and relate to the God that I know and understand at all, however partially and hazily, rather than the one I don’t.

242 Responses to Hating God

  1. Kat says:

    Hi stranger. Thanks for writing this. I have had the same experience lately. I too, am a deep worshiper of our God, and I have always loved Him with a fierce passion since I was very young. It is so disconcerting to experience feelings of hatred for the One I love so much. I believe I came to the same conclusion as you: that the unresolved tension is a necessary part of life, and it creates mystery that draws us closer to Him in way. But it is hard, nonetheless. I believe that without experiencing anger or hatred at Him, we cannot enter into knowing Him as deeply as His invitation allows. Thanks for the essay, again, it was very comforting to know I’m not alone.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi Kat, thanks so much for your comment. It’s always really good to hear from anyone who’s going through similar issues and struggles! I’ve think I’m finally coming to a place where I feel able to hold the two things together most of the time – the love and the hate, my deep need for God and my anger at some of the things he appears to have said or done or allowed.

      Maybe one of the greatest things about God is that he can handle being misunderstood, misinterpreted, insulted, even hated – so long as we’re struggling to engage with him and relate to him. There are moments when I glimpse or feel the deep goodness and love of God, and everything else seems to fall back into place; the rest of the time I can’t see so clearly but I’m more able to live with that tension. Except occasionally, when it all falls apart and I just feel rage and complete incomprehension. But I guess it’s all part of the relationship.

      Thanks again and bless you.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Britt Machado says:

      You don’t understand what it’s like to truly hate God until your teenager dies after turning from christianity and denouncing God and Christ. My daughter was a wonderful person, but after years of unanswered prayers regarding an unloving father and poverty, she became angry and denounced God/Christ. She was killed in a car crash. Now she is being mercilessly tourtured in hell for all eternity. God is pure evil and I will never forgive him. Atheists are lucky – I wish I was a non believer, but I know God is real and I hate him with all of my heart.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dear Britt, thank you for your very honest comment.

        I can’t begin to imagine what it must feel like to lose your daughter. If any of my children died I would be devastated, and I think I would be furious with God, and I would almost definitely hate him for a time. I think that is completely understandable and inevitable, and very human.

        There are many things I do not know and even more that I do not understand, and others that I am wrong about. But I am absolutely sure that your daughter is NOT being tortured in hell. I am utterly, completely convinced of that. Yes, she may have renounced Christianity and denounced Christ. But that is a superficial thing, and she doubtless had very good reason for what she did. God looks on the heart not on the outward things, and as you say (and I believe you), your daughter was a wonderful person.

        I do believe in God, but I can only believe in a God of infinite love and goodness and mercy and understanding. I believe in the God we see in Jesus, who welcomed and healed all who came to him, who did not condemn ‘sinners’, and who laid down his own life for the sake of all – including those who tortured him. God is a loving father not a torturer, and I am more and more convinced that he does not send *anyone* to hell.

        If God is a torturer, he is not God but the devil. If God is merciless and cruel and vindictive, he is worse than even the worst humans, and that cannot be. I do not understand why the world is so full of pain and suffering, but I do not believe that God wills it or causes it or delights in it – quite the opposite.

        But in the meantime, I understand why you must hate God, and I do not believe that Christ would judge or condemn you for that.

        Thank you,

        Liked by 2 people

        • N.R.V says:

          But what if God was the evil one, and the Devil a honorable rebel, a true hero, who dared stand up to Him, but fell victim to His propaganda?

          It biblical does make sense.


          • Popsy says:

            How insightful! I too have thought along those lines. I am not a fan of satan but given all the pain and suffering I see god allowing, satan seems to be the lesser of two evils.


            • Hi Popsy, thanks for your comments – very interesting and I appreciate your perspective. There have certainly been times when I’ve thought along the same lines, but for myself I’ve come to a very different conclusion to you – at least for the time being. I’m not entirely sure I believe in Satan, but I do believe in God and my experience of ‘him’ has led me (albeit reluctantly) to the conclusion that ‘he’ (not implying he’s male) is genuinely good. I realise that the problem of suffering is a very difficult one, and that at times it feels like God is the ultimate neglecter/abuser, but I think there are ways round those issues or of putting them into perspective.


        • Jim says:

          My parents, God – fearing both, and my father a volunteer Sunday school teacher, unded up saying goodbye to God when not one, but two of their kids were killed, and when all of the other three underwent hells on earth through no fault of their own. We say God is a loving God, and yet the Holocause happened. The children of Cain, Arabs, kill Christians daily, and nothing from God (There was a time, conveniently in the dark, distant past, when God would have destroyed those who destroyed His people, but apparently that is now de rigeur for Him to just let this pass without a response. Why?!!?

          Liked by 2 people

          • Hi Jim, thanks for your comment. I am really sorry to hear about the things that have happened to your family, and to you.

            Your questions are good and important, and people of all faiths and none have been asking these kinds of questions for centuries – and answering them in very different ways. In the end, your answer will come down to you.

            For me, I have experienced enough of the goodness and love of God to be able to hold onto that through the dark times, the times when he seems absent or distant, uncaring or worse. I don’t understand these times, but I know that they pass. And gradually I have come to trust that God is good even when life isn’t – though I’ll admit that I don’t always feel like that!

            The thing is, Jesus never promised an easy ride to his followers. He and almost all of his original disciples were at various points beaten, imprisoned and ultimately brutally killed.

            I believe that the reason for this is that love is the ultimate power in the universe, and that love will win in the end. But it has to win by losing, by surrendering, by self-sacrificing. It cannot coerce or control. It has to work slowly, gradually, quietly to transform and redeem evil.

            So in the meantime it often feels like love (or God) has lost, that he’s not doing anything, that evil is more powerful. But in the end evil destroys itself, love will win, and our sufferings will be redeemed. That’s my belief anyway. And I for one am glad that God doesn’t respond with violence to attacks on his people.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Paul says:

              Jam tomorrow, nothing today. God is the ultimate politician. Everything good happens after death/next election. Pathetic.


        • Olga says:

          I’m with Kat.
          I see how horrid, God is.

          It’s almost as if he delights in our sufferings!


      • Rob says:

        Try not to hate God. I understand why you believe what you do but the truth is that we will be judged not on 1 life but on 3. This teaching comes from the book of Revelation. We are created in this image and we are 3 persons but not at the same time, so there is hope for your daughter and for anyone else who might not be saved.


        • Hi Rob, thanks for your comment. I appreciate what you’re trying to do in offering comfort in a dark situation, even if I personally don’t agree with the theology you put forward! But I certainly do agree that with Christ there is hope for all, dead and alive.
          Bless you,

          Liked by 1 person

      • scotty says:

        I hate him too. I have a thousand reasons to hate him and maybe two reasons to love him.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Hi Scotty, thanks for your comment. I hear you.

          I’d be very interested to hear your possible 2 reasons for loving God.

          I do understand where you’re coming from on this, though I don’t agree with your conclusions. For me, God isn’t the problem – I am. We are. We’re the ones who create wars and also the ones who set up religions, when all God really asks us to do is love one another and love him.

          I don’t believe that God creates hell or sends anyone there. I believe we create our own hells in our hearts when we shut out reality and goodness, love and light. We all do that to an extent, but Christ comes to call us out of our self-made prisons into freedom.

          I understand why it feels like God is a monster. But if God is evil, where does goodness come from?

          I genuinely wish you all the best,

          Liked by 1 person

          • lily says:

            To: TheEvangelicalLiberal
            I understand you want to believe God is good and he won’t send anyone to hell I want to believe that too I wish it were true, But the sad truth is that he does send people there. Anyone who is not saved before they die goes there. And there is no chance for them after that they are utterly hopeless. And if you don’t believe that or that Satan exists then you clearly are still blinded by Satan .


            • Hi Lily, I appreciate your comment and your perspective, based presumably on how you interpret the Bible and what you’ve been taught by your church. I also appreciate your concern for me. But I have a very different perspective, based on over 20 years of wrestling with these issues as a Christian, including much prayer and Bible study. If God wishes to lead me into a different understanding, I’m sure he can and will. Bless you.

              Liked by 3 people

            • Kris says:

              I’m Hebrew Judaism – and according to the old testament – hell does not exist. It is simply your theology belief in Christianity.
              No prophet or follower of God nor Israelite ever refer to there being an hell. Hell was invented by an Christian concept.

              Why is it that King David knew not of such an place? Sheol the proper translation
              was misinterrupted as hell.

              God does refer to death, the pit, grave, and Sheol but not once hell. Name one time death is refer to the lake of fire in the old testament – you can’t ..from Genesis to Malachi where is this Lake of fire? Why would God keep everyone in the dark about this second death? Something so essential pertaining to life and death.

              You wouldn’t use the Quran to prove God through the old testament yet that’s exactly what Christians do. They use the new testament to try to prove the old. Doesn’t work that way when the old is ignore … You speak of things you know not and you are ignorant of your own God judgment. Typical for someone who gets their learning from an cross. It’s you who blinded

              You can’t prove by scripture that Hell, or heaven with the old testament. Thus. It’s just that – your belief without any confirmation..


            • Thanks Kris, that’s interesting. Just for the record, I’m a Christian who doesn’t believe in a literal hell, and I agree with much of your argument here – though obviously not the part about ‘typical for someone who gets their learning from a cross’ 😉


            • jan says:

              Really, lily? How can you be sure? Hell is a mistranslation, Jesus never used that word in the original scriptures. None of us has died yet, so how can you know? The ancient Egyptians used to believe that when a person dies they pass through several rooms before Ra decides the fate. The Vikings had Valhalla, in fact hel (one l) was a goddess of the after life in viking mythology. This is Christian fear-mongering if ever i saw it! The Jews didn’t have the idea of everlasting torture in a place called hell… I can back up everything i’m saying from wickipaedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hel_(location)


      • Britt, first, I’m so sorry for your excruciating loss. But I have no worries for your daughter’s destiny. As Harvey says, I am fully convinced about this, after literally thousands of hours of biblical and theological study and related study of other evidences about our destiny after death. I say this after believing in eternal punishment by God, as an Evangelical, until about age 45 (I’m now 64). I kept pursuing the nature and interpretation of the literature that became the Bible until it became very clear, eventually, that such teachings were not based on any genuine revelations by God. And further, God does not at all need to be conceived as setting up such a program, or even capable of it. One can still be a serious believer in God and a follower of Jesus without believing in a hellish destiny after death for anyone!


        • Thanks Howard. I completely agree with you! And I’d be very interested to hear more of your theological journey out of belief in a literal hell of eternal punishment.


          • Sorry Harvey… Forgot to come back and address this. Not much time now to tell much of the story. A fairly brief summary exists on my blog, via side-bar as a chapt. from my ebook, Spiritual Growth. In a small nutshell: Psych study and counseling practice prevented me from being too narrow, despite very conservative theological upbringing and seminary study, etc. After seeing much more (and more clearly) of “liberals” and/or progressives and reading many diverse but very Christian writings, deeper study of the Bible itself and of anthro, human development, etc., I came to see the nature of the Bible more accurately and realistically. This, with exposure to and some study of various scientific evidences (e.g., extreme antiquity of civilization) and “borderline” (quantum entanglement type, or “paranormal”) phenomena, I realized God’s creation had to be broader and more complex than just that in Judeo-Christian traditions. From there, it wasn’t too hard to see how eternal punishment was not a core part of a spiritual reality, nor nearly a universal and ancient perspective. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the data, although a “personal” kind of God of grace and purpose, love does!


            • Thanks Howard! Good to know a bit more of your story and background. I can echo quite a bit of that from my own journey out of a more fundamentalist evangelicalism.

              For myself I feel like I haven’t reached a place where I can say that I understand or have an overarching theory that makes sense of the data. Rather I’ve reached a place where I’m not sure I’ll ever understand, but I do trust in the reality and goodness of God as seen in Christ.


          • Thanks, but no thanks says:

            I hate God with every fiber of my being. He’s ruined my life and he allows no solace even though I fought to keep together what he CLAIMS to want. I prayed thousands of prayers to keep my family together, to resolve the life-destroying crises he’s put me in, to just having a little freaking PEACE. NOTHING. I’m surrounded by vicious people who’ve destroyed me and fed on my carcass like vultures. Fine. I’m gone. He created me; he destroyed me. I tried connecting with him and he didn’t want it. If he wants me he can come get me.

            But really, I’m commenting here because of this preposterous idea of “a literal hell of eternal punishment”. I can’t believe that people think that a finite sin in a blip of eternity is going to warrant TORTURE for ETERNITY. It flies in the face of everything we’re taught about God. It’s irrational. But hey: it’s a great motivator, which is why the concept was created to begin with. Unfortunately, it torments parents like the mother who lost her daughter.

            Hell is not a place. It is spiritual death. That’s it. The word “eternal” is used many times in the bible to describe an action with an eternal result. Eternal judgement is but one example. You are not going through a perpetual state of judgement. You are judged, and the result is eternal. When we don’t go to heaven, we are cast off to be destroyed, physically and spiritually. We are dead. We don’t exist. We don’t spend eternity in heaven. And that’s just fine with me. I want nothing to do with the heartless monster who’s destroyed my life.


            • Hi – thanks for your comment, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond – we moved house a couple of weeks ago and I’m only just getting back up to speed now.

              I’m really saddened by your story and there’s nothing I can say that can explain it or make it better. I can only say that from my perspective, I don’t believe these sufferings are sent by God, and I do believe that ultimately he will redeem them – that there is always hope for a better future for you. But I also appreciate that this will probably just sound glib and hollow from where you’re standing right now.

              The thing is, I frequently feel hatred for God and feel that he’s a heartless monster. But I also know, deep down, that logically that just can’t be the case.

              And I do totally agree with you that the ‘literal hell of eternal punishment’ is preposterous.


            • faithforfood says:

              Just a few questions Thanks, but no Thanks… If you died today, and stood before God and all you believe was only a lie… Would you still feel the same? Or would you change your mind knowing that it was too late…?

              You see, God allows suffering because of OUR deeds, not His. Have you examined your OWN heart and asked Jesus why you aren’t getting connected to Him? Were your requests of a selfish nature? (Not saying they are, but God does not answer selfish desires) If you prayed for your family, did you place God’s will first? Meaning, if I pray for a new car. It is because I want a new car, not because I need a new car.

              So if you pray for your family to be reunited, was it because you didn’t want to be alone? Was it because you were afraid of losing them for yourself? Luke 14:26

              You see, whenever you pray in humbleness, you pray in this way “Lord Jesus, please protect my family no matter what. Please forgive me, I am a sinner and desire Your Salvation. Please forgive them their sins as I have forgiven them their sins against me. Please forgive me for not trusting in Your timing and placing the matter in Your hands. I pray that Your will be done no matter the outcome. In Jesus Name, amen.”

              The one problem with today’s prayer, it’s all about “ME ME ME!” and what we want out of selfish desire. (Galatians 5:19-21) So my question to you is, how did you pray? What did you pray? And is it truly God’s fault? (As He is blameless in all, we live on HIS planet… not ours) And was it out of pure, heart-breaking, unselfish, humble prayer? Because God does not hear the prayers of the wicked but only those who seek Him with a TRUE desire for Him. (John 9:31)

              Another question, did you continue sinning whilst asking God’s help? If yes, then repent and see what our God can do… If no, then you need to examine and ASK HIM what you are doing wrong and HE WILL answer and HELP YOU get out of sinful habits.

              It is easy to blame God for what goes wrong in our lives, but we constantly fail to realize and notice that WE play the part and WE are the actors. The Director just gives the command, and we follow. If we don’t follow… Well you know what happens when you don’t do your job.. You get fired.


        • tonycutty says:

          Yes. Howard is not the only Christian who believes this either, Britt. Many of us do not believe in hell, and I am sorry for all the suffering that at my brothers and sisters have caused you in selling the idea of hell to you. Your daughter, I believe, is not in hell. There is nothing in the Bible that says that we can’t decide after death, once we see what God is really like. Check out my blog post herehttp://www.flyinginthespirit.cuttys.net/2015/05/17/life-after-death-a-contentious-post-on-decision-points/ for more on this. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you that hell exists; if it does, even, there would be very few in there. Check outhttps://jesuswithoutbaggage.wordpress.com/ for more excellent teaching on this. I hope this helps.


          • faithforfood says:

            tonycutty, please bare in mind that you have made yourself liable to double judgment because you teach wrongfully. There is in fact a hell and the Bible states it very clearly, even Jesus taught about hell. So if you believe in Jesus, and not His teaching.. Then you are a hypocrite and a pharisee for believing the lies of others and not the truth of the Gospel. Please note that all the comments I give is through truthful judgment as it is from God’s Word and not of my own will.

            James 3:1
            Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment

            Matthew 13:41-42, 49-50 “The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

            Mark 9:43, 48-49 “And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire…where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’ For everyone will be salted with fire.”

            So the truth is, hell is as real as your image in a mirror and all who don’t believe there is a hell are deceived by the devil. Not because I have said so, Because Jesus Himself has said it and He justifies this witness:

            John 8:44-45

            44 You are of your father the Devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and has not stood in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of liars. 45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me.

            You know, the greatest trick the Devil ever accomplished was to make mankind believe that he doesn’t exist.. Don’t you think he could make everyone believe that hell does not exist as well?

            Just some thoughts ;D God bless you (The happy/not so happy/struggling but worth it as it draws me closer to God Christian)


            • Hi faithforfood,

              Firstly thank you for taking the time and trouble to leave a lot of quite lengthy comments on this blog. Secondly I apologise for not having approved or responded to them till now – I’ve been away over the Christmas holidays and I’m only just checking back into the blog today.

              I appreciate what you’re saying and I can see that your motives are good, seeking to encourage people and draw them back to Christ.

              I share your pastoral concern for the people who come here to express hatred towards God, many of whom have experienced all sorts of personal suffering. I don’t however share all of your theology and beliefs, particularly regarding hell or the devil.

              I see that you quote extensively from the Bible to back up your beliefs on hell and the devil, which of course are perfectly valid Christian beliefs. But these are not the only possible understanding of the Bible’s teaching, even assuming that we first accept the Bible as the error-free, completely inspired and infallible Word of God (which for myself I currently do not, for a number of reasons).

              I have wrestled with these issues for many years as a struggling Christian, and I have come to different conclusions from you. My position is far less certain and absolute than yours – I don’t have definitive answers, and nor do I think these are always helpful. But I do still share with you an abiding trust in Jesus, and a concern for suffering people (which is everyone at some point). Though my own way of responding to people in such a place is perhaps rather different to yours, partly because of our differing beliefs.

              I wish you all the very best in your journey.


            • tonycutty says:

              God bless you too 🙂 Thanks for that. I don’t normally respond to Scripture salvos!, but believe me, I know all the Scriptures (including the ‘hell’ scriptures), and the One Who wrote them, intimately. They dwell within me richly and produce good fruit at the proper time. I boast only in the love that Jesus has for me.

              You will believe me when I say that many people – all of whom are still my friends, btw – can’t agree with me and my doctrines of hell/no hell. But these people know my heart and know me as a man who has a soft heart towards Jesus and a prophetic closeness to the heart of God. Believe me also that I have not fully completed my wresting with God’s word on this matter, if indeed I ever do. But I have to be honest with my conscience, and I have to be honest to what I believe the Holy Spirit is saying to my heart. To me, He’s saying that I need to wrestle with the concept, both with Him and with the Bible, on this issue, and so I do so with deep study, meditation, prayer and contemplation. So I do not arrive at any conclusion lightly. He may not be saying the same thing to you. The Scripture in Romans 3:4, where it says “Let God be true, and a men liars!” I believe is a typical Pauline rabbinic exaggeration which actually means that no matter what men believe – and much of the time that will be different from what other men believe – that still God is true. This is why your denomination, which believes different things from the denomination down the street, and possibly believes different things from my denomination, all receive blessings/salvation/healings/the Presence of God etc. – not because I have it all correct, or because you have it all correct, or because they have it all correct, but because God has it all correct. And that’s really liberating to know, because it means I can trust Him with my salvation because quite simply He’s closer than my best friend. He loves me and understands me, He speaks to me and teaches me. John 16:12 says ‘I have so much more to tell you…’ and He does indeed do that. And He no doubt does that for you too. I have of course blogged on this too: http://www.flyinginthespirit.cuttys.net/2015/11/27/i-have-so-much-more-to-tell-you/ – be flexible and listen! My relationship in Him is secure. And so is yours. Fly in the Spirit!


            • Paul says:

              So if you get drunk, cut your hand off. Im sure your local overworked Emergency Department will be delighted. Especially when you refuse you have your hand sewn back on because Jesus told you it caused you to sin. Be prepared to be ‘sectioned’ for your own good, lest you also start drinking poisons and handling venomous snakes. Also be prepared to be sectioned for the sake of public safety, in case you decide to throw rocks at homosexuals in the streets, attack people of other religions, gut children because God told you to, or slaughter pigeons and scatter their blood in your local church.

              God is a nice idea, but the longer you live in this world, the more you realise that humanity is NEVER going to change and will always be stuck in hard-wired behaviour patterns: hatred, greed, anger, ignorance etc. So for this world to have been created by a God, there has to be a point to it. Surely we should be growing more enlightened and less tribal? But, we’re not. Which actually proves evolution, because being tribal is a natural instinct. Which means the world can never progress, spiritually. Which in itself proves God is non-existent or evil.


      • faithforfood says:

        Britt, don’t you think that God took your daughter because He heard her prayers all along? You don’t know whether she, at the last minute, gave her life back to God/Christ? Do you know what rushed through her mind the last second when she knew it was over for her? You see, God is a just God and allows us to even give our lives completely to Him even at the very last second. The wages of sin are death, but the outcome of repentance is complete forgiveness and a life with Christ in God’s Kingdom. I know this post is very old, but I felt like commenting anyway so if you have already received your answers I hope and pray that you would remember this one thing… Matthew 20:1-16

        So we don’t know what goes through the minds and hearts of the people who have a few seconds of life on earth left, but here is one thing you can think of though… If you surrender to Christ, you stand a chance to see your daughter like you have NEVER seen her EVER before. That’s a risk I would take… Would you?


        • tonycutty says:

          This is brilliant. And I agree; I think that is exactly what happens, if the Thief on the Other Cross is anything to go by.


      • J-L says:

        Dear Britt,

        Thank you for sharing your this story. I feel bad for all the pain you and your daughter have gone through.

        If you’ll let me, I would like to leave you with three ideas to ponder. Bear in mind that not everybody believes all three of these ideas, but many believe at least one or two. But I’d like you to read them just the same, in the hopes that some or all will resonate and help you.

        Some people believe that once you are saved by accepting Christ there is no way to get un-saved. If true, this means that your daughter would be taken into Heaven even if she had to go there kicking and screaming.

        Some people don’t believe this because they can’t find it in the Bible, but many who believe this will gladly quote scripture to back their belief.

        Some Christian denominations (like Catholicism and even some Protestant sects) allow for some “wiggle-room” when it comes to afterlife areas. In other words, it’s not necessarily only Heaven or hell; there could be some “Other” places that God allows us to enter into in order to sort out our issues. After all, these people reason, God doesn’t want that any should perish, so why couldn’t He allow for people who are unjustly hurt to learn the real truth and make a fairer and more informed decision?

        Some people don’t believe this because they can’t find it in the Bible, but many who believe this will gladly quote scripture to back their belief.

        When Jesus refers to God the Father as “Our Father in Heaven,” he meant for us to regard God as a loving person, as we are supposed to regard our own earthly father (and parents, for that matter). The sad truth, as we all know, is that not all fathers (and parents) are loving towards their children. In fact, some can be quite cruel.

        And if a child, through no fault of his/her own, has the misfortune of having a cruel father or parents, it will definitely color the child’s perception of God. In other words, if they received overwhelming love from their father/parent, they will view God favorably; but if they received stinging rejection, they will see God as a hateful monster and likely end up rejecting God.

        From what you said, it sounds like this is exactly what happened to your daughter. Wanting to be loved by her earthly father, she looked for his love but instead was met with heartbreaking rejection.

        Ironically, it was her desire to be loved that caused her to turn away from God. And God knows this. He’s omniscient, after all.

        But God doesn’t want the case of her being rejected by her earthly father to result in being rejected by her Heavenly Father. Instead, He wants to flood her whole being with love, even more so considering she didn’t get the love from her (earthly) father that every child so rightfully deserves.

        It may be true that your daughter explicitly rejected Jesus and God. However, the case can be made that the reason she rejected God was because she actually loved God so much that she was torn apart by her biological father’s rejection. She naturally equated her biological father’s love with God’s love, and unable to make sense of her biological father’s lack of love, she decided to reject God.

        Did she reject God in order to force God to love her back? Only she and God can say for sure. However, it’s clear from what you said that she did, at one time, love God very much, but not getting the paternal love she deserved distorted her view of God.

        I think God understands this, and will take this into account. He would much rather heal her heart with the boundless love of Heaven than unjustly repeat the cruelty she suffered on earth.

        Maybe it will take time for your daughter to come around and accept God again. God is very patient and can wait. If need be, God can wait forever.

        (And please never assume your daughter is in hell. Pray for her instead (which I believe God wants you to do), and hopefully you both will be joyfully reunited in Heaven one day.)

        Liked by 1 person

        • tonycutty says:

          This is a wonderful and sensitive response, and is exactly what I would have written, had I been able to express myself as clearly as J-L. Britt, there are many, many believers out here who believe that God is indeed just as loving as J-L and other contributors have tried to express. We are not all hellfire and judgement types, and we feel that this better reflects God’s true nature rather than the nasty image portrayed by some people. I am sorry that you have had experiences from Christians that would reinforce this belief, and I sincerely hope that you will be able to derive some solace from the writings of the people in this discussion. Bless you Britt.


      • Mark says:

        Don’t worry. If your daughter was a christian, then she still was one when she died and she’s in Heaven now. Being angry and denouncing God/Christ didn’t make that go away. She didn’t lose her salvation. I hope you can realize that and stop feeling terrible feelings because you think she didn’t make it to Heaven.


      • Anthony Cucchiara says:

        I am so very very sorry. I have no words


        • V for Vendetta says:

          Hello all.

          Please, how do I stop this blog from sending me notifications anytime anyone comments here?



          • Sorry about that – I think you should be able to unsubscribe from comments via an ‘unsubscribe’ link at the bottom of the notification email? If not you might need to revisit the blog page and unsubscribe from comments there.


  2. Seriously Says says:

    I certainly do hate God, especially when he gave so many other men and women to find love and happiness together. Hey God, what about us?


    • I think hating God is perfectly understandable. But I really don’t think God is to blame for the stuff that isn’t great in our lives. (NB I’m not saying we’re necessarily to blame either!)

      I don’t hate God (most of the time), but sometimes I get really angry with him. And I think that’s fine and normal. But I don’t think the mess in the world is God’s fault.

      All the best,


      • scotty says:

        the problems in the world is not God’s fault? He is the number one problem in the entire world. People go to war over him and he just sits back and laughs at all of us.blesses the heathens and ignores and shits on people that pray to him. I too wish I had never accepted Christ into my heart. Because now I know that if I am in a backsliding state I will go to hell. I don’t want to go to hell, but I am NOT going to worship God for all eternity when I can’t even stand him. He is a fart stain on a shitty pair of underwear


        • faithforfood says:

          Scotty, do me one small favor and see whether you agree with your statement in the end. Read up Jeremiah 4:22 and then Romans 1:18-32 and then place yourself in God’s role where you created mankind and loved your creation, but they want nothing to do with you.

          Would you feel hurt if your child rejected you and called you a “Fart stain on a shitty pair of underwear”? If he hated you with everything in him after you have given him everything possible to show him that you love him? Don’t have a child? Do you have a best friend? How would you feel if that person turned around and spat on you, cursed you and told you the exact same thing…. about you?

          Would you still love that person? Would you still want to be friends with such a person? Let’s say that this person is your wife/girlfriend/mom/dad and you love them with everything and would literally do ANYTHING for them… And they told you “I hate you! You are worth nothing! You are a fart stain on a shitty pair of underwear!” Wouldn’t feel great would it…

          You see, once you place yourself in the role of Jesus Christ and what He did, regardless of what we did to Him and how we treat Him.. He still forgives us, He still loves us, He is still there and not leaving… In fact, did you know that if you repent from these words you have said… He is faithful to forgive them and won’t even think about them… Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their wrongdoing, and I will never again remember their sins.

          As said, not sure about what happened in your life next, but felt the need to comment ;D

          God bless dude!


          • Godhater says:

            Fuck that. Yes I would be torn apart if anybody close to me would deject me, but they would have every right to reject me if I do nothing when they suffer while I can help. What would you do if you see your child drowning in a pool?


  3. Disappointed says:


    I am somewhat in the same camp as Seriously Says. For me though, it’s not as cut and dry. It seems odd to say that God is intimately involved in every detail of our lives and yet at the same time to say that He can’t be blamed at all for the things that are not so good in our lives. I know I have prayed countless prayers to God to allow me to meet someone that I can love and who will love me in return. And each time, the relationships have failed. I don’t really understand it, and this cycle has caused me to grow very bitter and angry towards God. I can honestly say, I hate Him. I hate him for constantly overlooking me and neglecting my prayers, I hate him for blessing family and friends around me year after year with the very thing I have prayed for continually. It seems so very unfair, mean and cruel. Howe can I believe that God is love when I feel so very unloved by Him? Moreover, how can He expect me to accept that He loves me when in my opinion his actions demonstrate otherwise…It has been a confusing relationship to say the least, but for me not being able to reconcile my life with His attributes of goodness, mercy, grace and love have really limited my ability to truly desire to know Him and love him in return. I wish it weren’t so confusing…


    • Grace says:

      Hi, Disappointed. I too have experienced this to a frightening degree. I believed in a promise once that I swore had been given to me by God. While it came true in a sense, it was not the end outcome I had expected. I grew to hate God because of this, as the disappointment took root in my heart. Sweet closeness with Him that I used to feel became impossible. I could not be close to Him, even though I still believed in Him and wanted to, because I could not trust Him. During those days is when I found this blog. Since then, God has completely healed my heart. I came to understand the things I needed to understand about the situation, and the things which I could not understand, God gave me the grace to let go of. I came to realize the outcome that I thought I’d wanted in the beginning was not what I truly wanted… God knew that and had the grace and skill to fulfill His promise, but not let me miss out on an even greater blessing by letting me settle for what I thought was the best thing for me. God is no respecter of persons, what He has done for me, He will do for you too, because you belong to Him. He longs to be close to you again. His greatest desire is to be with you. He is even now healing your heart of this disappointment and breaking you out of the cycle, and I believe He will then bring you together with the one that He has prepared for you all along. This disappointment, the thing that the enemy has tried to use to destroy you, can become your greatest asset and blessing. I am closer to God now than I ever was before. I know that because we made it through this severe disappointment, God and I shall be stronger than ever, and nothing can ever take my heart away from Him again, no matter what happens. His interest and plans for us are always good, we just cannot perceive it at all times. I release breakthrough for you on this day. Grace and Peace from Jesus Christ, our Lord.


    • Hi Disappointed, firstly thanks very much for commenting. I can strongly identify with your feelings towards God. While I can echo some of Grace’s sentiments, I’d like to respond in a slightly different way.

      Firstly, the emotions. It’s absolutely fine to feel as you are feeling, and to express that in whatever way you find most helpful. Best of all is if you can express it direct to God, taking all your rage, hurt, frustration and disappointment to him. Swear, shout and scream if it helps. I’ve certainly found the first two helpful. 🙂

      Secondly, the practical response. Whoever’s to blame for your difficulties – God, your parents, specific people, the world in general – only you have the power to tackle and overcome your difficulties. I say this from my own experiences of dealing with my own problems. One of the things that has helped me most has been seeing a good secular psychodynamic counsellor for the past 5 years. Going to a counsellor is not an admission of failure, weakness or craziness; for me, I believe it’s one of the most sane, courageous and wise things that I’ve ever done.

      Finally, the ‘rational’ response. I think it’s fine to get angry with God, but as I say I really don’t believe he’s to blame, nor that it’s his responsibility to sort out all our difficulties (mine included). I’d be very happy to lay this all out in reasoned argument if you’d find it helpful, but I’m not sure that that’s really what’s needed at times like this. 🙂

      And whether you think it likely to help or not, I’ll pray for you. Genuinely.



      • hmm yeah right says:

        Why do you people feel you have to have an answer for these things ? Let people express how they feel without thinking you know the answer, cos pal you DONT…..God cant be trusted I know, and dont even go there with me youll meet stubborn resistance


        • Thanks for your comment. I’m not sure who you mean by ‘you people’; we’re all people, all in it together; we all have problems and difficulties, and we all have views on the world which are – in *all* cases – at least partly wrong. I know for a fact that I *don’t* have the answer. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have views and ideas and working hypotheses, nor that I can’t engage in dialogue with others of different views, including you. You may well be right and I be wrong, though I think it’s more likely that we’ll *both* be partly wrong and partly right.


        • PS and yes, you’re entirely right about letting people express their feelings, which are always valid. I’m not seeking to dismiss anyone’s feelings here and if I have done, I apologise. Nonetheless, given the nature of this blog I think it’s entirely reasonable to query people’s ideas and thinking, though again not to dismiss it.


    • faithforfood says:

      Hi Disappointment.

      Went through the same cycle of relationships ending badly and discovered that God wanted to be first. As soon as you start to place Him first completely (That means “If I get someone or not, I have Jesus… What more do I need?” attitude) then He will bless you with the right person.

      When I completely let go of my desires of an earthly relationship, God sent me my partner through this prayer “Father, if she is in Your will for me as my wife, let Your will be done. If not, let Your will be done” and left it, never thought of it, never pondered and completely trusted in God’s will. The woman I spoke about will be my wife in 2017 as we are now engaged.

      Live a life like this:

      Matthew 22:30 – For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like angels in heaven.

      And know God will bless you with someone in His time, not yours. Learn patience, it helped me through a lot of heartache.

      God Bless


  4. Very interesting post. I have written a book about this subject: Hating God: The Untold Story of Misotheism (Oxford University Press, 2011). You may find it enlightening to see how other people (my subjects are mainly artists and thinkers) have dealt with this ambivalent form of faith.


    • Thanks Bernard – I’ve had a quick look at your website and I’d certainly be very interested to read your book!

      I think the God-haters I’m most interested in are the ones who retain their faith but hold a hatred of aspects of God in tension with their love for other aspects. I do sometimes hate God (or particular representations of God) but I think that can be a constructive hatred which can lead to a deepening of faith rather than a rejection of it.


  5. Kasey Richards says:

    If you want to know about god look no further than hell, it is a compilation of his thoughts made physical, tangible, very real. Others may say it is the creation of the devil, but after that is taken into consideration, He created the devil. God created evil, and others hate the devil for doing as He was created to do, angles lack the free will of humans. So after having said that think about how god punished a creation just following design. God is cruel and deserves no devotion, would you worship the true creator of Hell?


    • Hi Kasey, thanks very much for your comment. I’m interested in where you’re coming from – e.g. do you believe in God but hate him, or do you not believe but think that the deity depicted in the Judaeo-Christian Bible is a monster?

      Either way, I appreciate what you’re saying. However, I’d like to offer a different perspective, one which works better for me.

      You suggest that hell shows what God is really like – i.e. someone who creates evil and pain and delights to torture people forever, rather like a divine concentration camp guard.

      My own view is that God cannot truly be God if he is not completely good – such a god would be merely a corrupt and contingent being. The God revealed in Christ is the God of total love, of perfect forgiveness, of eternal hope – not of everlasting torment.

      So I don’t take the traditional view of hell. However, even assuming that version to be correct, hell is not presented in the Bible as somewhere that God wants anyone to be. Rather it’s the absolute last resort for those who ultimately refuse to turn away from evil. It’s a place where evil is contained and constrained – more a quarantine area than a place of punishment.

      There’s also nothing to suggest that any suffering in hell is meted out by a torturing God. That would go against everything else that the Bible (and particularly Christ) underscores about God’s character of love and goodness. Far more likely (it seems to me) is that the suffering comes from within, the product of souls that have shut out all light.

      The Bible also presents a very complex and nuanced view of evil (and the devil), and does not try to tie up all the loose ends. There are both positive and negative depictions of Satan in scripture, but ultimately evil is not a creation but a corruption.

      All the best,


      • “My own view is that God cannot truly be God if he is not completely good – such a god would be merely a corrupt and contingent being. ”

        Fanciful, lofty thought, comparable to a childs longing for Santa Clause. In fact, that notion is THOUROUGHLY disproven by the nature of the universe, which most closely resembles predatory satanism, “eat or be eaten” and “survival of the fittest”.

        And further, how can you even START to believe that the three-headed devil”God” that has seized power over this world, the abrahamic abomination, could POSSIBLY be considered to be benevolent, given his behaviour in his unholy scriptures? Daft. Daft and dangerous. Time to stop this sherade. There is only one solution that makes any sense, yes EVERY sense: If indeed the captor of this world, the abrahamic abomination responsible for judaism, christianity and islam, is indeed real, he MUST…he MUST be evil.

        Stop behaving like children, and btw, your still hurting people:


        • Thanks for your comment. I hear you and appreciate where you’re coming from. However, I’m coming from a very different place and perspective and we’re unlikely to agree.

          Please can you clarify – do you think that God really exists and is evil, or that he doesn’t exist but religion that invents him is evil?

          I’m fine with rejecting any particular version of God. Many religions do present abhorrent depictions of the divine, which I can’t accept as being in any way representative of reality. I know this includes versions of Christianity and parts of the Bible. Nonetheless, my reason and experience both lead me to believe in a God who is the source of goodness, of reason, of beauty and above all of love. And that is the God I see in the life of Jesus Christ.

          I understand what you’re saying about ‘survival of the fittest’. I accept that this is the way of the world; but it’s not the way of Christ who lays down his life for the least and calls his followers to do the same. Why the world is as it is, I don’t claim to know for sure. But I know that it can be changed for the better, and that we can be changed, and set free from ‘survival of the fittest’. And that’s what true religion is about for me.


          • Whatever viewpoint you may come from, truth is still truth. YHWH is evil, it’s proven by his whole hideous legacy. Was it really necessary to kill his own son/himself to lift a curse he himself placed on ALL of us because of TWO completely different people long in the past? I know the Bibelverse you refer to to explain How two people’s sin brought sin into the world, but that ACTUALLY all sinned. It’s like blaming a child for a disease it inherited from it’s parents! You’re INSANE, but you don’t realize it!

            I know I’ll be a misotheist until I die. You know why? Because I know enough to realize what’s been done here. It’s the greatest, cruelest enslavement of mankind in an already hostile world, upon the threat of torment forever in Hell (don’t pull that “seperated from God only-bull with me). The God of “Love” threatens you with torment in Hell forever if you don’t “love” him…..PATHETIC! Insane and pathetic.. WAKE UP!

            “But thou, who art the God and Lord: O, thou,
            Who fillest with thy soul this world of woe,
            To whom all things of Earth and Heaven do bow
            In fear and worship: all-prevailing foe!
            I curse thee! let a sufferer’s curse
            Clasp thee, her torturer, like remorse;
            Till thine Infinity shall be
            A robe of envenomed agony;
            And thine Omnipotence a crown of pain,
            To cling like burning gold round thy dissolving brain.”


            • Actually, I penned and posted a not dissimilar poem on this blog a few months back:
              Last night I burned the Bible

              As I say, feel free to reject what you call YHWH or any other version of deity you consider to be evil. For evil cannot be an original or independent reality. Evil is by its nature derivative and contingent, parasitic to the good or a corruption of it. Whereas God must by very nature be original and non-contingent, the source of reality and being. Therefore the true God simply cannot be evil – it’s a logical impossibility. Any version of deity which is evil can therefore be rejected as false.

              Now to my mind, Christian theology presents a far more convincing and satisfying framework than the misotheistic view you suggest. God is not evil, but evil exists as a necessary corollary to a good universe in which free, conscious beings can develop with the capacity and choice to love.

              Evil has infected this good cosmos, and it pervades every part of it, including every one of us. The only solutions are to destroy and start again, or to work slowly and painstakingly to redeem. But this process inevitably involves suffering and loss (both divine and human). And sometimes difficult, unpleasant actions must be taken where the only available options are non-ideal.

              I wish you joy in your misotheist path, and I will remain on my path.


            • I see I can’t reply to your comment. Nifty passive-agressive cencorship there.

              YHWH, father of Jesus. Per the Bible. That has conquered the world. Yup, the jewish/christian diabolical duo, that’s right. I and the father are one, Jesus refers to YHWH, the one who died on the cross on your icon. YOu knew who I meant. The one that Jesus IN HIS PAST AND PRESENT FORM, is forever tied to.

              You said: “Whereas God must by very nature be original and non-contingent, the source of reality and being. Therefore the true God simply cannot be evil – it’s a logical impossibility. “

              You can’t just assume that?? That’s silly,! He MUST, he MUST??? It’s like saying a rapist MUST be good, because he is in control of the situation. The fact is, IF he exists, he being YHWH or not, Jesus or not, MUST be evil or uncaring when IT does not react to the the state of the world. That’s the only assumptions you can make here. Look at the state of the world he supposedly created for “God’s” sake!
              GOD: “Dang, I know what I’ll do, I’ll blame all their misery on the first people, and then I’ll threaten them with hell if they don’t believe I died to lift the curse I placed on them myself. And they’ll BELIEVE it!! And then, my followers will defend me with every lousy argument out there, like: God is good because he MUST be good!”

              GOD and Jesus rolling on the floor laughing their asses off….

              No, I’m sure their VERY concerned about the altarboys being raped by their priests and the “witches” being burnt in their name. REALLY concerned. Pffft,-


      • Brittney says:

        Hi Evangelical liberal. I don’t think anyone chooses to go to eternal conscious torment(hell), and God has power to do absolutley anything, even to make sin good, or allow people in heaven, yet he doesn’t. That’s part of why I hate him. Long story short, I have been a believed for decades, and I’ve tried everything from deliverance, fasting, prayer, therapy, renewing my mind, Bible reading, spiritual warfare, etc, but I absolutely hate God and Jesus because they have the power to do anything they want, yet they created hell and allow people to go there to eternal conscious torment just for not believing in Jesus and for living a certain way, if their gay, etc, and even if they never even heard about Jesus. And even if God and Jesus doesn’t “send” anyone to hell, He still created a place for people go to be eternally consciously tormented makes me ate him also. My hatred for God and Jesus is very strong, and I’ve done all I can for years, but it won’t go away.


        • I’m so sorry for not replying sooner – I’ve only just come back to my blog after many months, as I was going through a horrible time last year.

          I do hear you and I get what you’re saying. I don’t see things that way – but I know that at times I too feel like God could make everything better but doesn’t, that all the suffering and horror I see and experience is his fault (or at least that he’s not making it better when he could).

          In my heart I can’t believe that God torments people for not believing in him, or for being gay. I think too often we torment ourselves, or allow ourselves to be tormented by others, and that God is not participating in that – but I don’t know why he lets it happen, except that maybe it’s the price of our freedom or something like that. But I’d rather not attempt glib answers that will always fall short of reality.

          I do believe God loves and cares for you and your family, and that he longs for you to flourish. But life does really suck sometimes, and I think it’s okay to be upset and angry about that.


    • Paul says:

      Angels lack free will, do they? Then how did they rebel?


  6. Honestly Speaking says:

    God is a very rotten person the way that i look at it, and i will never understand why he is punishing many of us men with Singleness when we’re having such a very hard time meeting a good woman to settle down with. And yet he Blessed so many others to have a love life. Then again, the women today are nothing like the real good ladies that we had in the past which very much explains why our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles had very long lasting marriages with a wonderful family.


    • This Guy says:

      I agree. I’ve been trying to realize how I can view marriage as a good thing when all I see is a corruption and a weakness. Many Gnostics believed that the correct interpretation of scripture was actually, “And they (the trinity) made him both male and female.”. Then of course the fall and seperation literally changed all things, even our bodies and the physical world. Which would explain the new testament view of marriage and why, despite what the “Churches” teach, Paul acted like marriage was less something that pleased God, and more of something that was necessary due to our corrupted natures. Hence why he prefered celibacy for all, but condoned marriage since people are too weak to control themselves. Also why Jesus said there will be no marriage in Heaven, for their is neither male nor female in Heaven. So, in the Gnostic view, masculine and feminine is a symbol of our broken, corrupted natures. Ideally, each person was to be both masculine and feminine, thereby being in balance. But masculine men and feminine women reflect how we are now incomplete and broken, and must seek another to make ourselves whole. So perhaps, if God has gifted you with a single life, it’s because he feels you are less incomplete than others. So much for the bubble-gum “pop-Church” attitude that marriage is the meaning of life lol


      • Thanks for commenting, and that’s an interesting perspective.

        In my view (and my experience), marriage is like any other human institution and relationship – a mix of weakness and strength, corruption and goodness.

        My reading of the New Testament view of marriage is far more positive than yours. Paul appeared to have mixed feelings; he viewed marriage as a distraction from kingdom matters, based on his (mistaken) belief in the imminent return of Christ. But at other times he spoke highly of marriage, comparing it to the relationship between Christ and the church.

        Jesus of course was, as far as we know, unmarried. However, he blessed the wedding at Cana and he spoke of marriage as something divinely instituted: ‘What God has joined together, let no man put asunder’.

        My understanding is that much of the New Testament was written to correct or refute Gnostic teachings, so I personally wouldn’t give too much credence to the Gnostic view, interesting though it is.

        My own view would be that marriage is potentially good but that it is certainly not essential, nor is it necessarily ‘better’ than remaining unmarried, and nor is it right for everyone. It certainly isn’t the answer to all our problems, the solution to all our loneliness or the way to perfect happiness and fulfilment.

        (It is, of course, vital to the continuing of the human species that at least some people procreate and bring up children together, though this need not necessarily be in the context of traditional marriage.)

        My view is that marriage provides a safe setting in which humans can grow in mutual love, service and (often painful) self-knowledge. It’s a place where we can know and be known, accept and be accepted. But it’s not the only setting where that can happen, and nor is it without its own difficulties and problems. It’s certainly not the meaning of life. 🙂


    • @Honestly Speaking – I hear what you’re saying and I appreciate your feelings. It’s human and entirely understandable to blame God for the things in our lives that we aren’t happy with. However, I really don’t think it’s God’s fault.

      God is good, or he isn’t God but a lesser being. God cannot be less loving or compassionate or capable than we are. As part of his goodness he gives his creation great freedom – which includes freedom for things to go wrong as well as right. But he is always working to redeem and restore – that’s the message of Christianity.

      I certainly can’t agree with you that ‘the women today are nothing like the real good ladies that we had in the past’. I’d also suggest that that kind of attitude may not assist you greatly in your dealings with the opposite sex! 🙂

      In my view, the only difference between women today and in our grandparents’ generation is that today they are thankfully freer, and less subjugated to the wills and whims of men. Shockingly though, over a third of women in the UK still experience some form of physical or sexual abuse at the hands of men. Perhaps it’s a lack of ‘real good men’ that our society’s really suffering from…


      • Honestly Speaking says:

        The problem today is that the real good old fashioned women are Not around anymore, and they were certainly the Best compared to today. Now with so many High Maintenance Women out there these days with their high paying job, they really think their all that which their Not. It is a good thing that God made Good women years ago, or many of us Good men that are looking for love never would’ve been around today thanks to our parents. God did a real Good thing back then making Good women like our mothers that raised their children Right to find a good man to settle down with to have a family, unlike today their parents are raising their children very Poorly which certainly explains why there are so many Pathetic Women nowadays. And years ago there was No such thing as a high maintenance woman since Both men and women had to really Struggle to make ends meat.


        • Well, I couldn’t disagree more, but you’re entitled to express your opinion!


        • faithforfood says:

          Just a quick question Honestly Speaking, do you think that God stopped making good women in today’s life or simply that the good woman of today don’t meet the standards of the men of today? There are very good God-fearing women in today’s life, sad thing is even the good men don’t notice them nor do they even meet the standards of today’s men. God doesn’t change, ever, so He never stopped creating good women. We simply stopped looking at the inward of women as the men of old did and became blinded by outward appearances.

          God bless

          Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, you are right, “God” is a very rotten entity indeed, it’s just that christians suffer from the Stockholm syndrome, and will defend IT by all means necessary.


      • I’m not censoring you – WordPress simply doesn’t allow nested comments after a certain depth.

        And the repeated use of h2 tags really isn’t necessary to get your point across.

        I see we’re not going to get anywhere with this discussion. As I say, feel free to hate away, and I hope it brings you peace and joy.


      • faithforfood says:

        John Roger Holte, here is a challenge for you. Seek God and His kingdom, devote your life to Christ and see what all the Christians of today know about God… Confess your sins (Heartfelt, not “arg lets just do it”) and mean it… Ask God to reveal His Son to you… then re-post…

        You see by merely hearing ABOUT God won’t make you understand WHY we serve God. In order for you to understand someone’s situation in life, do you place yourself in their shoes?

        If you know the Bible, you don’t necessarily KNOW God. You have to ALLOW Him to reveal Himself. Atheists know the Bible, some off heart, but left God out of the Bible and understood it the way THEY wanted to. Not the way GOD wanted and intended them to. There’s the gap…

        Matthew 7:5
        Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. – Jesus Christ

        God bless 😉


  7. Jim says:

    Hi, all, and greetings from Eugene, Oregon USA–a most interesting post. I will briefly say that accumulated life experiences first made me doubt the existence of god–at least the existence of a loving and kind god–and I followed that thread of thought through agnosticism, into a feeling (not a belief–the two are different) that if there is indeed a god he or she must be either malevolent, incompetent, uninterested or nonexistent. Raised as I was a devout Catholic from the cradle this was, and is, a devestating place to come to at the age of 58. I tried sincerely to reconcile my doubts and the clamoring of my rational mind against what is plainly obvious–that this world contains evil, and that the supposed loving god either allows evil or does not prevent it, for reasons we mere humans are not allowed to know. As a rational being, this is utterly incompatible with my thought/belief process. As human beings, surely we are entitled to a scrap of dignity and self-determination; as Bertrand Russell put it in his famous essay “Why I am not a Christian”, such degrading beliefs are incompatible with the thought processes of a free person. My choice is to refuse the mythology–as well believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, there is as much evidence for either as there is for a supposed god– and to believe henceforth in myself and in my fellow human beings, acknowledging that both good and bad exists in every one of us.


    • Hi Jim, thanks for your comment. I totally appreciate how life experiences might lead you to where you are now. I’m not here to preach to you or ‘win you back to salvation’ or anything. I think sometimes an honest atheism is a lot healthier than a dishonest or self-deceiving faith.

      My problem is slightly different from yours. I find that my life experiences have led me inexorably to a belief in God (whether I like it or not), and indeed to the goodness, kindness and mercy of God as shown in Christ. Yet, like you, I look at all sorts of obvious evils both in the world and in my own life, and I struggle to reconcile these evils with what I believe (what I find I can’t help but believe). So I live, somewhat uncomfortably, in the unresolved tension of unanswered questions.

      I do happen to think there’s a good deal more evidence for the existence of God than there is for the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, and I’m more than happy to go into the details of why I think Christianity makes sense, but I’ll leave that aside for now.

      Thanks, and all the best,


  8. Azznerak says:

    I hate your God so fiercely. When we meet I will spit in His face for his actions towards me. Once I knelt on my knees praising his name. I prayed for his guidance and his love. And returned loyalty with lies, hatred and bigotry. He blesses the wicked abd curses the innocent. Before I leave to burn in Hell I want him to look me in the eyes and tell me why he hated me so much. Azznerak@


    • Dear Azznerak, I hear and you, and I am so sorry to hear how bad your experience has been. I will not try and argue with you or persuade you otherwise. I would be glad if you could explain more about what happened to you that has left you feeling this way.

      I do not believe that God will send you – or anyone – to hell. But, if you believe him to be so evil, perhaps you can show him that you are better than that by forgiving rather than spitting in his face. That way would you not have won?


    • Popsy says:

      I am so sorry this happened to you but I am not surprised. god is an ABUSER first and foremost. It is almost like he revels in the pain of all creatures. And like a classic domestic abuser tries to make it seem like it is our fault he has to treat us the way he does.

      Remember, neglect is true abuse and nothing has neglected us better than god has.


  9. Maz says:

    Wow, that is so sad, Azznerak. Right now I struggle with something I have struggled with for years, it brings me so much pain I can hardly stand it. Sometimes I just want to die. Scriptures echo in my ears seeking to bring condemnation. I feel distraught, disillusioned & depressed. I want to give up & I don’t understand why God doesn’t cut me some slack, just give me a break. Tonight I’ve had nothing nice to say to Him, I’d like to walk away but I have nowhere else to go. After all I still carry me around everywhere I go & I guess I’m the problem. I can think of few brethren that I would talk to about this as I would probably be labelled carnal & immature, which I guess I am. But I need some sort of support. If only I could hear Him, comfort. Thanks Harvey for your honest blog


    • Dear Maz, thank you so much for your very brave and compassionate comment. I’m so sorry to hear how hard things are for you at the moment. I really hope and pray that your situation improves very soon.

      I do not believe that God ever condemns us – my understanding of Christ is that he comes to free us of all that guilt and shame and condemnation, not to lay more of it on our shoulders. I’m not sure I believe in a literal devil or ‘enemy’ but it’s certainly not God who accuses and blames. It’s perhaps most likely to be our own damaged psyche – which we all have to greater or lesser extents.

      When you say ‘I’m the problem’ I think that’s both true and not true. Yes, we are our own worst enemies, and so much of the suffering we experience does come largely from within ourselves. Yet at the same time you are deeply loved and accepted and okay, though you probably don’t feel like it, and there’s no need to go on blaming yourself for things that most likely aren’t your fault or in your control.

      I certainly don’t believe you are any more carnal or immature than the rest of us! 🙂 Unfortunately many Christians aren’t able to admit their own flawedness, immaturity, carnality etc and so condemn it when they see it in others. But don’t believe that you’re worse than others!

      For myself, I have to believe that God is good, that God is love. If not, I don’t see how he can truly be God at all. So while I am frequently angry and upset with him, even feeling hate, I do believe deep down that in the end all will be well – though right now that may feel like an impossibility.

      All the very best,


  10. Funny, I seem to agree with every comment on here and have been in/through pretty much every state of mind mentioned here at some point. I only ended up at this site tonight looking for any comments on hating God as that’s where I am right now and unfortunately I know why I am like that.

    The easier and more acceptable reason is that “The flesh hates God” as we are told in the New Testament. The less acceptable reason also comes from the NT and is the one I hate looking at… because I’m utterly childish! It never feels childish when these extreme emotions are going through me; it feels as though I can see through the veil of ‘brainwashing’ to the ultimate reality of God being selfish, manipulative, vain, etc etc etc – funny, all the character traits I hate in myself!

    What happens every time is that my head starts focusing on my current life situation and the things I don’t have that I want and that I seem completely unable to attain. If I stay in that frame of mind for any length of time I start to blame God for basically not doing what I want, when I want it. Put like that I can see the utter childishness of it and the quicker I accept it, the quicker I can get back to seeking God and living my life. Or, I can prolong the pain and misery a bit longer by sitting on my pity pot and waiting for God to turn up with a big sack of cash and a ready apology! (that’s never happened yet btw)

    On the self pity thing; I think I must really love it seeing as I go back to it time and time again, I reckon if I could bottle self pity, I’d knock crack off the market in no time!

    Every method of seeking God I’ve looked at has this same theme – an experience of God’s love followed by periods of being broken down and rebuilt (nobody seems to have the capacity to really take a serious look at their own failings unless they’ve had some kind of experience of what it can look like on the other side of that). Right now the emotional swings are enormous and from everything I’ve read on other peoples’ journies and in the bible, this will continue to happen until I can learn to go through them with faith, trust and hope in God intact instead of reverting to the most childish of all emotions, hate.

    I have had many experiences with God over the last 18 years and have found that all periods of spiritual growth have come from being in serious pain; after all, If I feel great about myself and my life, there’s no need to seek anything better is there?


    • Hi John,
      Thanks so much for your very honest and helpful comment! I’ve taken the liberty of adding in some paragraph breaks to make it easier to scan, as what you say is well worth reading. 🙂

      I’ve been fascinated by the level of response to this particular article, which I wrote quite a while ago but seems to have stirred more interest than many more recent pieces! It seems that a lot of people can identify with this feeling of hating God – which I think is a perfectly normal and natural feeling at times in our lives.

      I actually think that ‘the flesh hates God’ may just be a more theological way of expressing the other point about our childishness. It’s those parts of us that want to be in control (i.e. want to be God!), that want to have things the way we want them, that want the world to revolve around us.

      I’m not sure that’s the only reason why we hate God though. I think sometimes what we’ve experienced is just so awful and inexplicable that hate may be all we’re left with, for a while at least. The problem is when we get stuck in this and think that we don’t ever need to move on – that God owes us a personal apology for reality being the way it is.

      I also think that the Bible doesn’t help sometimes, in that parts of it do present representations of God that almost any sane modern person would find hateful. I happen to think that these are inaccurate and partial pictures of God – as of course all our pictures of God are to an extent.

      The only advice I have is that if you’re experiencing enormous emotional swings, it may perhaps be helpful to seek out a spiritual director or, perhaps even better, a secular counsellor. I’ve certainly found that to be of enormous benefit in my own life.

      All the very best,


  11. Scott O says:

    So instead of acknowledging the evil that has been done in his name, you decide to ignore that side of him. That is a weak weak way of being I say have courage and stand up for yourself or at least those who couldn’t stand up for themselves ask the hard questions demand answers. If you get an answer share it, if you don’t acknowledge he plead the fifth. They say that for evil to prosper good men just need do nothing I say where is your god when evil is done to the innocent. I don’t hate god because of what he’s done I hate him for what he hasn’t.


    • Again I hear you, but I don’t agree.

      I do acknowledge the evil that has been done in God’s name – but I don’t believe that God responsible is for it. People have done evil on the basis of the writings of (for example) Marx and Darwin, but that doesn’t make Marx or Darwin evil. People might, if they chose, go and do evil in your name on the basis of something they’ve misunderstood you to say, but that wouldn’t make it your fault.

      I understand the point that it feels like God does nothing in the face of evil, and yes, it’s a difficult point and people have different views on it. Some think that God has chosen never to intervene because he wishes to allow his creation the dignity of complete moral autonomy. Others, like me, believe based on our experience that God does at times intervene, but that he prefers to do so in hidden ways, and he will not always act to prevent all evil.

      I know we’re not going to agree on this one, but there are legitimate alternative ways of viewing these issues.


  12. Sarah says:

    I don’t want to be angry with God but I’m getting more and more so. I understand that I may have to wait for my prayer to be answered but why can he not just give me a sign that he is even dealing with it? I just don’t understand. If someone asked me for help and I couldn’t do it straight away I would let them know that I would be thinking about and help when I could….It seems cruel that he hasn’t even given me any hope. Really don’t know what to do!!!


    • Dear Sarah,
      Thank you very much for your very honest comment, and I’m really sorry for not having been able to reply sooner.

      I can really identify with what you’re saying and how you’re feeling. I’ve experienced incredibly long and difficult episodes when it’s just felt like God wasn’t listening and wasn’t answering my prayers, and when I really doubted that he cared for me at all. At the time these situations felt endless and hopeless. I’ve shouted, raged and sworn at God, wept and felt that I hated him.

      Yet having (sort of) come out of the other end, I do now have a different perspective. Those times were undeniably awful, but they weren’t endless and they didn’t destroy me. And looking back, I’m not sure that what I expected or demanded of God would have been beneficial, or even possible. And even where it would, I’ve lived without it and I think become a more whole person than before.

      When I say I’ve come out the other end, I don’t mean that everything’s resolved, but rather that I’ve (largely) come to a place of peace where I’ve accepted how things are and no longer feel the rage or hate or despair – at least, not most of the time!

      I still don’t really understand why sometimes God remains silent and distant, but I’m now convinced that it’s not because he doesn’t care, but somehow, paradoxically, the opposite.

      I realise that none of this may be very helpful to you right now – but I hope that it may be one day.

      I wish you the very best, and I genuinely am praying for you,



  13. Speaking The Truth says:

    Like the other man said, not having a love life like so many others is a very good reason to hate God. And many of us should have not been born in the first place since we can’t meet a good woman to share our life with. Then again, there are so many Low Life Women out there nowadays adding to the problem.


  14. shawn says:

    why does god hate me? i trusted in his word and believed in his every promise. he said to have faith and i did. he said not to worry about my life, and so i did not. he said to seek him first and i did so. he said to lose your life for him and i did. but now after all these years i feel as those i had wasted my life. because while everybody else was following their dreams and building their lives, i was just sitting around and waiting on the lord. but now i’m undesirable and poor. people spit on me. i’m just worthless garbage. i hate my life so very much i wish i could die. i wish i never believed in god and in his name.


    • Hi Shawn, thanks very much for your comment and I’m really sorry for not responding sooner. We recently moved house and I’m only just able to start engaging with blog things again now.

      I hear what you’re saying and your story is a very difficult one. I can only say that you’re absolutely not worthless garbage, and there’s always hope. You can still turn your life around. I’ve been at rock bottom too, and it doesn’t have to be the end.

      I totally understand why you must hate God at the moment, and I’m not going to try to change your mind. But, though you may not want it, I will pray for you because I do still believe in the reality and goodness of God, and I believe that things can change for you.


  15. Rob C. says:

    I have frustrations with what I see. Christian children beheaded and the be headers become more powerful. Children. So their parents are forced to watch. Believers have no help or protection in life. Praying yields nothing….and then those who pray are blamed for not praying right, or enough. Old Testament, current life….I see a beautiful world was created, but in life we are all screwed. Screwed even more so if we believe.

    Caring for my family is my need, want desire. But I am becoming nothing as the mighty one lets it happen. And my family hangs in the balance.


    • Hi Rob, thanks very much for your comment. It sounds like your own family are directly affected by the current situation?

      You have of course hit on one of the great mysteries of faith. We only have to look at the Psalms to see both great promises of protection and also heart-rending cries of despair about how evil people prosper and no help comes to the righteous.

      I really do believe that God does care, and does work for our ultimate good, but I don’t believe that his will is fully done in this current world. But I also believe that there is always hope.

      Of course there should be no blame on those who pray, for not praying right or not praying enough. That’s superstition and guilt, not the Christian message at all.

      All I can say is that I will add my own voice to yours in prayer for you and your family, and indeed have already done so. We can stand together even if we don’t understand, and even if we feel that no-one is listening.


    • Paul says:

      What no believer seems to acknowledge, is that when God pressed the restart button and drowned everything, at the end of it all he gave us free will! Again!! Why!!?


  16. The Honest Truth says:

    God is very evil the way i look at it, and why should God punish us with the single life since many of us really do hate to be all alone and single? To see so many other men and women that were very Blessed to have each other with their Families is not fair at all, and if this was God’s intention we shouldn’t have been born in the first place to begin with. Yes God really Sucks and always will.


  17. Absolutely Very True says:

    I really hate God since he never gave me a wife and family, that filthy C**suckin dirty jew b*stard.


    • Anon says:

      I had one. A wife, three kids, beautiful home, retirement, EVERYTHING. Then I acquired an illness that robbed me of my ability to work. My wife had an affair with a big paycheck and destroyed the family. I tried to save the marriage. Me and the kids were all devastated. But God chose to reward a greedy adulterer. She completely destroyed me: I lost EVERYTHING because God saw fit to empower divorce attorneys and women. She makes six figures and kept everything while leaving me one step away from homelessness. She kept our home, the kids, and “our” retirement money. And she’s still seeing her sugar daddy even though he’s still married with three kids. So God let’s this guy have TWO women and leaves a good man and his children heartbroken. Even in the aftermath I continued to turn to him but he offered no solace. So I’m done with him. I hate him with every fiber of my being. I just wish I could stop believing he’s even there, at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing that a vicious monster wasn’t responsible. I apologize to the blog host here as he is doing an admirable job trying to offer compassion. If only God cared half as much as he did . . .


      • Hi Anon, sorry for the slow response – it’s hard to know what to say, and also what not to say, in response to a story like yours. All I can say at this point is that I hear you and what you’ve been through is terrible and wrong. I’m very sad to hear your story.

        If I only believed in justice in this life, then in your position I would probably say ‘there is no God’, or ‘God is a monster’. But I believe that this world is not as it’s meant to be, and that justice and goodness is coming – that in the end, wrongs will be righted and harms healed. That may of course be false hope, but I think there are good reasons for believing it. Still, I accept that for many, it’s just too hard to believe.

        Thanks for your kind words – of course, I do believe that God cares much more than I do, but I don’t think he can always change things here and now. But I do really believe that he suffers with us and that our sufferings will in the end be redeemed.

        I really wish you all the best.


        • Anon says:

          Thank you. I have to say that deep down, I know the truth. But in the midst of pain there’s a lot of resentment. And I know that God is a lot bigger than most Christians give him credit for. Like you say, he feels our pain and it isn’t just a matter of him dropping those who hurt so bad that they turn on him. And you: this page has opened up a place for a lot of hurting people. It’s a tough job to keep saying the right things. And sometimes the right thing to say is just nothing. We’re conditioned to want to offer answers when we’re faced with problems, but sometimes we don’t have a fix. In those cases we need to just listen and care. The person suffering doesn’t want a phony answer. They know there IS no easy answer. They just want their pain to be validated, understood, and shared in some way.


      • RCDisappointed says:

        Anon…I agree with you.

        Balancing out the books…or eventual justice really means nothing to me.
        Seems more like an empty promise. And quite frankly…is justice all you really get?
        I would rather not be murdered than to get justice afterwards. But if I only can have justice…it woudl make sense it occurs immediately after the crime. Not some sort of group justice after a few thousand years to clean up what should not have been.


      • Mikey Gee says:

        My friend I have been through something similar, renovated a house which took a year, acquired back /neck pain that hurts everyday, 2 heart stents from a mild heart attack, loss of income of a year, took a massive loss from the stock market and on.
        I did this for this woman/girlfriend and her 3 kids (not mine) so she would have a decent place to live. She couldn’t afford the home in the pretentious town she was living and had to sell it. I liquidated some of my IRA, borrowed off my parents etc to get the renovation job done!
        OK- truth– I do sufferer depression (she hated that but she’s on meds for it) and she says im not romantic type which is her rational for her to move on. Oh I forgot to mention what I though was nice for her. I installed a $2,400 whirlpool tub since she liked baths. It was 2 inches higher than standard tub and she was so upset I spent the money on it since it was an effort for her to climb over and sit in. Also the house wasn’t in her beloved pretentious town either. Plus I never heard the end of her her big x boyfriend that was an artist who didn’t work, had no money and she bought a car for.
        LOL I remember saying to god and since I was single at the time, if I could ever help someone in need, god, I would take her in and do good. Well now she got the house and im living in my parents basement after breaking up. She, I believe, found someone new and romantic and wants to be happy friends with me after 8 yr relations. LOL This woman by the way has two masters and a psychologist!
        My big mouth to god, right?


  18. RCDisappointed says:

    Most of comments I read on here discuss the primary reason for hating God is because they have not received something they personally want or need in their life. My personal journey starts similar with distaste as being “stuck” where I can no longer function in the world on behalf of my family. But that just got me thinking. But what brings me to hate is to witness what is happening to Christian children at the hands of ISIS in Iraq. I cannot connect how much more faith those children or their parents could have, and then to be rewarded by monsters chopping their heads off as the parents are forced to watch. And in my mind God would curse those who would hurt those children like that, not 50 years from now after death…but immediately in life. They should become afflicted with dread awful diseases, or constant bad things happening as the power they seek slips rapidly from them. Their lives should devolve so rapidly and amongst so many of them, that they fear being the one that raises the sword to cut off the head of a young child whose faith is so fully demonstrated. This is where my HATE comes in. OK…so my life is not working right….but nothing can explain to me how I should take comfort that the books will be balanced in the end.

    Seriously? The books will get balanced in the end…just keep praying and keep believing and ignore that the most faithful have all aspects of happy or healthy life stripped away, and those who ignore God seem to have easier lives, or can keep their lives.

    A God can that sits back and has some movie popcorn and a cola on ice watching faithful children beheaded in his name, while parents who had full faith must now live with that pain….excuse me?
    This is the creator of the universe…taking another sweet sip of cola and expecting us to believe that not to worry…he will eventually get around to balancing things out. Take comfort that many millinea from now he might balance things out???? How about getting off your ass and helping the faithful at moments like that? Make a minor adjustmen to your “perfect” rules that things get adjusted pretty quick…and fast enough that the bad guys start taking notice and start to fear a very quick and certain painful agonizing death, to lead to the worst sort of afterlife. Now that is a God I can believe in.

    Otherwise, this is like the human equivelent of a person that sets up a little world, with little trains and tiny animals that live in trust of this human….who really just plays with his little world, then drops a little bomb and fire on it…destroying it all for fun as the little animals have their trust betrayed…..oh…but promise them each a nice burial at the end. Definitely a creator…definitely has the power of life or death over his world. Not necessarily a good guy.


    • Anon says:

      I understand your frustration and anger. I’ve been there and for the most part, I AM there. As I said in another post, deep inside I do understand the truth and the perspective of it all. But we are fallible people placed in sometimes horrible situations.

      First of all: don’t take offense here, but why are you pointing your finger at ISIS? This is not to excuse their current actions which are response to the crimes that have been committed against their families, but have you not been watching history for the past 13+ years? We’ve been killing THEIR children! I won’t get into the details here, but hundreds of thousands of parents over there have watched their children starve to death at the hands of our sanctions and bombs. Christian families used to live free before we stepped in.

      In the midst of my pain and anger, I can still see. The issue here is one of perspective. It’s no comfort to us NOW, but our time here is nothing in God’s time. We ALL want a comfortable life here. Christians can go on all they want about how we shouldn’t be “of the world”, but the truth is that ALL OF US are of the world. Those very Christians do everything they can to be happy. They’ll deny that by saying, “yeah, but we put God first.” BULLSHIT. It isn’t fair that they’re comfortable and others are in never-ending anguish. God very obviously sees this and understands this. So it’s understandable for us to be angry with him. The problem is seeing things from our eyes instead of God’s eyes. Our time here is barely a blip on the timeline of infinity. What seems like interminable suffering to us here will be nothing compared to infinity in heaven. The problem is that we ARE here and heaven, God, and infinity are completely intangible concepts when we’re in pain. Our pain is tangible. God is not. So we lash out at God for being the author of the pain that we’re in. YES: God is the author. He created this mess and he put us here knowing full well what a disaster it would be for us. As you say, it seems like he’s playing little games with us, watching us suffer and doing nothing. The deep truth is, God is able to place this all in a perspective that we cannot. It doesn’t make the pain go away and it doesn’t mean that you’re a “sinner” when you get angry (I really do loath the abusive, ignorant Christians out there); it makes you HUMAN, exactly as God created you. Christians use Paul as an example, failing to see the important difference here: PAUL SAW JESUS. That makes him tangible. Worse, Christians use Jesus as an example. JESUS KNEW HE WAS THE SON OF GOD. He had first-hand awareness of the grand perspective of everything.

      These ignorant Christians have no clue who and what God really is. They have a simple-minded, comic book perception of what God is like. And we’ve come to believe in it: a petty little tyrant who throws child-like tantrums at us when we turn on him. The truth is that he understands full well what our pain feels like and how limited our abilities to overcome that pain are. Our lashing out in anger at him is not a death sentence. He understands. And those Christians who have it made, who do not go through our heartaches, who point fingers at us for “not having faith”? They’re Job’s accusing friends. Furthermore: God has COMPLETE knowledge, including what is called “middle knowledge”. He knows what those people would do if they were in the same situations as ours and he knows what we would do if we were in the same situations as theirs. They would do the same things as we’re doing and God sees the cruel hypocrisy of those who lack compassion.

      The bottom line is that God truly is far grander and kinder than we can understand. A book can’t express the fullness of what he is. If he exists at all, then he truly is a just, loving God who WILL make things right. It doesn’t take away what sucks right now and he isn’t going to throw a child-like tantrum at you for being in pain. He knows he created you to do just that.


      • Paul says:

        Jam tomorrow, nothing today. We’re SICK of it.


      • Paul says:

        I’m sure the selfish little brat torturing ants with a spyglass has more perspective than the ants. So what!? It doesnt make it right. A little application of thought and common sense works wonders. If God is omniscient then he knew how things were going to pan out on Earth and carried on regardless. Which makes him careless or malevolent.


  19. RCDisappointed says:

    I am coming to believe that this earth and life on earth is meant to be a method of sorting out the worthy souls from the useless. Sort of a farm of sorts to raise and then harvest souls.
    Now up till now the tortured souls here on earth, are supposed to take comfort that they get to go to Heaven. But what is heaven? A sort of utopia/club med for good souls? God just harvests the good souls to become happy pod people in heaven?

    Or is life hard with no help, cause we are to figure things out. How this universe really works.
    Therefore, those who are effective in life are enriched for learning what works…and thus the harvested souls can be useful….for some other purpose we don’t see or know? That makes more sense to me. A jealous, angry God sets up a brutal world that rewards the wicked…..so that he can harvest the weak and ineffective in life? They people who cling to hope that he will do something to make things better? What use are they to him?

    I ask these hard questions as reflection of my own life. Raised in non-religious life way, and for whatever reason having talents and abilities I found I greatly enjoyed life as a selfish and disconnected person. Survival of the fittest worked for me. I was not necessarily evil, but I wasn’t exactly trying to be good to earn favor either.

    As I grew older, I felt I was not being good enough, and I began to have faith there was indeed a creator and God seemed like the right one to give the credit to. And as I became more faithful, my life and effectiveness slipped away….beyond reason or probability. My faith begain costing me my life. I gradually have fallen down like so many Christians who believe and hope, and things only get worse. And then offered comfort that sometime in the future my suffering will be avenged? Seriously??? I don’t particulary want my suffering avenged long after I die. What I want is to see that the faithful are indeed rewarded. Can be examples of God’s grace. Lives enriched and improved as they continue to have improbable good fortune. But those examples really don’t exist…and the few that supposedly do are too few to mention, and more often than not have such a stench of hidden hipocracy you can smell it a mile away.

    So, in closing I believe God curses the faithful and faith makes them weak in life.
    And I cannot see any point to stocking heaven full of weak souls that achieved minimal amounts of life’s rewards….makes not sense. They have little value to a creator if you really think about it.
    Seriously, what does God want with someone like me now? I have no value beyond becoming a faithful, hoping pod person.


  20. Mikey Gee says:

    I want to thank all that have written here. Helps me with my bitterness and that im not alone, Just that said I am at a better place now. I understand some emotions in here and feel comforted.
    Although having some faith helps me get through tough situations.
    I feel beaten down, disappointed like many here and in this world. Somehow I still want to work at it and rise above it all before I die.
    Its that peaceful feeling and some wisdom from living I am looking forward to before im gone.
    I think as much as life drags us down we need to count some blessings even if it doesn’t equal.
    I want payback for what I feel was taken from me and others in this world, I do believe if there is some higher up that it will be granted.


  21. Hi all, I just wanted to leave a quick general response here as there have been a fair few new comments recently and I probably won’t have time to get to them all individually, at least not for a while.

    Firstly to all of you – thanks for commenting, and I hear you. I hear that many of you are hurting really badly, and that you’re absolutely bloody furious with God. And I’m very glad you’re able to come here and say that, and I hope you’ll keep on expressing what you honestly feel, because that’s real and important.

    That doesn’t mean I agree that God is a monster or that he doesn’t care, but I completely understand that it feels like that, and I’m starting to realise that people need to be able to say that without anyone trying to correct them or have a go at them.

    Anon, thank you for what you’ve said – that’s good stuff, and I find it helpful. Mikey Gee, thank you too.

    All the best to you all,
    Harvey / TEL


  22. Sad_Soul says:

    Hey, I am a girl who did not lead the happy life that I always wanted. If anyone does have the patience to read my life story, please do read it. PLEASE HELP ME OUT SOMEONE, I am at the point of despair. The first few years of my life, as far as I remember were great and wonderful. I had parents who looked after me very well and very meticulously. My mother was very nice and loving. My father was rather overprotective and careful with me. He never allowed me to venture outside and kept me in a shell. This is one of those things that make me furious. In grade 1, I moved to a different country and I had no idea how to behave. My parents didn’t train me adequately to behave myself, I feel they pampered me too much. So in grade 1, I got into a lot of trouble with teachers. My classmates didn’t like me and some used to bully me. In grade 2, I became respectable and smart kid. Teachers liked me and were nice to me. At the beginning of grade 3, a new family moved in with us and their daughter was in my class. She and her brother used to fight with me all the time and since I was brought up by parents as a ninny who never knew to stand up for myself – I always used to end up crying – I allowed her to conquer win. She bitched stuff about me in school and I lost the friends that I had. Then, after a month or so I changed to another home where there was this family friend of ours. We changed schools and there was this other girl who was also not that nice. We used to fight and I always wanted to be nice to her.

    Then, a month later, I went back to my home country. I had trouble settling there. But I had this teacher who always toughened me up. She was partial and never really liked me so much. But still, somehow, I did manage to get toughened up a little. In grade 4, I became a baddass girl who behaved the way I liked and yelled at everyone.
    I moved schools and skipped to grade 6 because my grades were excellent. In the new school, I did some stupid things and ended up making a fool of myself. But eventually I did patch up with the friends. At the end of grade 6, I changed schools again to another school, I studied there till the end of grade 7. It was nice and fun. It was a normal school life with fights, and fun and nothing that awful. Then, I changed schools to grade 8. I was the most popular girl there for the first few months. But then later, something happened and people started to hate me, fought with me and bullied me. I left the school with anger and revenge. It was so bad. I spent a long summer vacation before high school, revelling in wrath. I didn’t do anything. In grade 9, I joined and was popular for a few months. But then, something happened and I lost all my friends. They started to dislike me and it was a repeat of grade 8 all over. Anyways, I did well in my grade 9 exams and towards the end people started to miss me before I was gone forever from the school. Grade 10 had a rather rough start. I was unable to relate to anybody in the beginning and people used to give me weird and awkward glances and guffaw behind my back. Eventually, I did make friends and had a good time. But soon something happened and my classmates started to bully me and dislike me. I tried to be nice to them but they were rude and had contempt. I decided to stop giving a F*** about all of them. I studied hard for my board examinations and did very well. I changed schools again and eventually, I did patch up with my grade 10 classmates who congratulated me for doing very well in the exams. Grade 11 was a DISASTER, there was absolutely no one I could relate to. People considered me as a loser and nerd. They started picking on me a lot and whenever they needed my help to study, they tried to be nice to me. I hated it there, anyways, I did really well in my grades and towards the end everyone appreciated it.
    Again, I changed schools and in grade 12, I had great friends But this did lead me to losing some focus over my academics and I ended up getting good grades but I wasn’t the class valedictorian. My relationship with my dad grew worse over time and I started to hate him. He used to fight with me all the time and say rude things.

    And that all is wrong. That my purpose in life is wrong and messed up. That partying , drinks and dating guys are wrong! Yes, a part of me wants in college what I missed in school. I have never been that happy. But all those who messed with me are. They are in their universities taking selfies and stuff. They have a good social life. They party very hard and enjoy their lives. As for me, I have taken a gap year…. I want to have a break and tell myself that I will be smart, intelligent and get the best results in everywhere. I WILL LIVE LIFE BIG! MY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE! I WILL HAVE A MAN IN MY LIFE ! I WILL BE THE SMARTEST! And yet these so-called “men” of God say that I am wrong. Just fuck them okay! When I argue it out, my mom says that I am disobedient and rebellious. What? I can’t enjoy life? Can’t party? Do I have to be dull?
    It is such kind of phony “men” of God that have just ruined my perception of God. I start to think God is an asshole who doesn’t allow fun. Tell me! Tell me! Tell whether I am wrong!
    Ain’t I okay? I wanna be cool and awesome! Tell me how to LIVE BIG. Something that I never did.


    • Hi Sad_Soul, I just wanted to thank you and acknowledge your comment, and to say that I’ll reply fully as soon as I can, hopefully in the next day or so. And also to say that God is very much into living big, the way I understand it.


    • Dear Sad_Soul, I’ve read your life story and the things you’ve experienced make me feel very sad, and very angry (not with you!). Your feelings are completely understandable and normal (and feelings can never be wrong or stupid anyway).

      I don’t believe you are wicked, wrong or stupid – you are simply reacting in a very understandable and human way to what sounds like rather a restrictive upbringing and a lot of very hurtful experiences at school.

      I also don’t believe that God wants you to be miserable, or that he is the one who gave you a difficult life – but I totally understand that it feels that way and I think it’s perfectly okay to be very angry at him about it.

      And yes, you are definitely okay, and more than just okay.

      You can live big. For myself, I believe that living big is about much more than partying, dating or being popular – but that doesn’t mean those things are all wrong or bad. And I certainly don’t think that education or grades are all that matters. I think living big is about finding out the full awesomeness of who you are within this great universe and being that person to the very max, regardless of what peers (or parents) think.

      On a more boring grown-up note I would just say (from my own student experiences!) that partying too hard for too long can be quite damaging to your emotional and physical wellbeing, but again that’s not to say don’t party! 🙂

      And isn’t it kind of in the job description to be a bit rebellious and disobedient if you’re a teenager? 😉


    • Anon says:

      Hi Sad Soul. A few thoughts from a guy in his 50s. Obviously I was young once and I have three teenagers.

      Popularity can be tremendously important as a kid, but . . . . let me see if an analogy will work here. Say popularity is like a car. The most popular would be like the highest performing race car. That car is impressive, fun, exciting, and takes a TON of CONSTANT effort to keep it functioning at its peak. Being so popular comes with the constant threat of being taken down by those who want to take your place. Better to be a more reliable vehicle, running in the middle of the pack with valuable friends who like you for being you rather than hangers-on that are leeching off your popularity.

      Something often happens over the years. It’s amazing how so many of the popular, beautiful people become very average and uninteresting and some of those who didn’t stand out are amazingly beautiful and successful. Without focusing so much on tuning their popularity, they’ve tended to the things in life that matter; that are going to take them places; and that are going to make them popular later in life. It’s funny: I look at people my age and they’re accepted as being “one of us”, but you can tell in school that they would have been overlooked. We tend to migrate to the middle over time. Popularity is fleeting. Not that there won’t always be the ones who just have it forever. It can be VERY hard at your age, but really, it gets better.

      Church people. I’m with you. You can hate God for your situation. God’s a lot bigger than you, He isn’t a petty little punk who doesn’t understand your pain and anger. But I can’t tell you how many of his alleged people just threw me to the ditch because I didn’t accept that I lost every single thing of value in my life; just forget all the losses and submit to Jesus. Didn’t work. Oh, I must be doing something wrong. I’m a failure. These people who never lost a dime were judging my pain and proclaiming me the cause of my pain.. Screw them. They’re Job’s friends. But even if you get to the point where you find yourself loving God, you don’t have to force yourself to circulate among Christians and their churches. I’ve met far too many Christians who are far more offensive with their abusive, judgmental attitudes, their hypocrisy, and I have to be blunt here: they’re as dull as ditch water. Their lives and interests bore me to tears! I know people who are just all Jesus all the time. I’m sorry. It doesn’t work for me. And that’s totally ok with God. Yes, there are a lot of Christians who are totally full of crap. They don’t walk the talk. The Evangelical Liberal here is one of the good ones.


  23. Zanele says:

    Why was the tree created in the first place, why is the devil still alive, why is God’s hate for sin more stronger than His love for us. Why was the tree thr, why did God let the world continue after the tree was eaten? I am jst an eighteen year old girl who doesn’t understand the purpose of the tree that has led us to this life we ar living, on day God created plants and trees God had ended the day saying it was good, the tree of knowledge of good and evil being included. And even if Adam dd nt eat the Fruit somebody was eventually gng to eat it. Why was the tree also created?


    • Hi Zanele, I hear you, and these are questions that I think many of us have asked, sometimes in anger, sometimes just in sorrow and bewilderment.

      For myself, I don’t believe that God’s hate for sin is stronger than his love for us, though I think some Christians and churches have given that impression. I believe that above all God is love, and that in some strange way love is both the reason for suffering and the cure for it.

      As for the tree and the devil, many of us find it hard to believe in these things any more as literal realities. I tend to see them as symbols or myths that point to something real. For me the tree is about the inherent capacity of all good things to go bad, and the freedom we have to choose the wrong path – without which choice we would not be truly free or fully human. And the devil is the symbol of evil and chaos which is the inevitable flip side of goodness and order. But by choosing the way of love we can defeat evil, even if it kills us – which I think is what the cross is about.


    • Anon says:

      Yeah, the tree is just a metaphor. It’s hard to believe that so many people don’t understand this as the bible is so full of metaphors. The tree of knowledge is just our desire to explore the ideas of good and bad and to want to decide for ourselves which is which. We tend to want to justify bad behaviors by rationalizing them with thought. We can convince ourselves of all sorts of things. Some things we’re just expected to accept: killing people is wrong. Hurting people is wrong. God gave us the ability to think very deeply about things, but it can get us into trouble. Here’s an example: the Greek sophists were very skilled at debate. They could use their skills of intellectual manipulation to argue things that were very obviously not true. They knew it and their opponents knew it, but such was their skill. We do this all the time. We know deep down that something is wrong, but we convince ourselves that it’s right. For whatever reason, God created us with the ability to think freely. It’s more valuable to him that we come to him in spite of all the other tempting choices out there. Nevertheless, he tells us that his love for us is greater than any love we can possibly imagine. So imagine it: think of a person you love more than any other. Would you punish that person for eternity because they made a mistake? Of course not. Yet Christians would have us believe that God created us with very limited abilities compared to him, he placed overwhelming temptations in front of us, and he will torture us for eternity for succumbing to them. He created us with a profound capacity for failure and he’ll punish us forever for it? Does that sound like love defined? Of course not. It makes no sense at all and it will help you accept this life a little bit more easily if you understand this. At the very least, we should understand that hell, as the bible actually describes it, is just spiritual death. It isn’t eternal torture; it’s non-existence. The very worst that will happen to us is that we’ll cease to exist instead of going to heaven. But really: I can no longer think that this God who created us to love us will have created us to destroy the vast majority of us for fulfilling our God-given capacities to make poor choices.


    • Ian says:

      Exactly. Why was the dumb tree created?
      Dumb idea God. And how can the rest of mankind suffer because of those two dumb asses ,, thats so stupid.


  24. RealTruth says:

    I hate that filthy cock sucker piece of shit since he never gave me a wife and family that he gave to so many others.


  25. jan says:

    i wrote to you before and subsequently i have discovered more about Hell apparently the word was translated from 4 words in greek (one of them is Hades) and forever is aeons. jesus seems to use greek ideas. I wish someone would have explained this to me as a young adult, like you I was told the fire version, which is not readily accepted, the evangelicals need to get back to the original version. look at godsplanforall.com
    I’m not keen on fundagelicalism, is that a word? it caused me a lot of confusion. Which is why I was drawn to your page in the first place. I almost lost my faith and sanity over this. I’m not the only one.


    • Hi Jan, I’m really sorry for not replying to you sooner.

      I’ve had a quick look at godsplanforall, and they probably go a tiny bit further than I’d be happy to, but I think they may be along roughly the right lines. I’m what you could call a ‘hopeful universalist’ – I very much hope that God will redeem everyone in the end, and I think he may, but I’m not utterly certain of it. What I’m more certain of is that God very much wants to redeem everyone – but he may allow us the choice to shut out his love and light if that’s what we really want.

      I also very strongly agree that hell (whatever it might be) is not the eternal fire version taught by ‘fundagelicalism’. (That’s not a word I’ve come across before but it’s a very good one!)


      • John says:

        Hopeful Universalist, I think I’ll keep that one for my use, thank you.
        ‘Not utterly certain’ is a good way of putting it, but the only way god could be the god claimed by the bible is if he has ultimate control, and no amount of power, human or otherwise could ever overcome that. Saying god wants to do something and then letting a puny ‘free will’ human upset his plan for eternity is beyond ridiculous, in my opinion.
        I reason that the chances of THE god not existing are so remote that I can’t believe I still debate myself and others about it, but I do. I’m trying to live a moment here and a moment there like I think I would if I knew god was who he claims to be but i’m weak selfish and too untrustworthy I guess, just like I view him to be I suppose.


        • Hi John, thanks for your comment – interesting perspective.

          I’m not sure that the Bible does present a single definitive picture of God, but rather a whole bunch of different ideas about ‘him’ according to the different writers and their perspectives. So some parts of the Bible do present God as having ultimate control like you say, but other parts portray him as pretty much powerless to stop humans mucking up the world and our own lives.

          My view, based on my own experiences, is that God’s greatest power is his love, which by definition can’t coerce or control us – so in a sense is quite powerless. So I think at times he steps back and allows us to make a right mess of our lives (at least for a time), because in his love he wants us to be free rather than controlling us. Which isn’t to say it makes him happy…

          I agree that it sounds ridiculous that God would let his plan be thwarted by puny human free will, and I’m not sure that God does let his ultimate plans be thwarted by us. But I do think his love for each of us is so great that he allows us a lot of freedom, both to mess things up and also to do far more constructive things.

          Bottom line for me is that ‘THE God’ must be perfect, or he can’t truly be God. And I think perfection implies perfect goodness and perfect love, far more than it implies total control.



          • John says:

            I must say that it sure is refreshing to find someone out there who really does let people have their opinion with plenty of latitude. Really cool.
            As for god being love, it always reminds me of listening to born again’s saying, yeah, but…
            My experience tells me, at least I think it reasonable, is that either god is in control or he’s not, there can be no grey area when all is known. When god makes claims like I knew you before you were born, to me that means he allows for that to become real and can’t convict anyone who is one iota short of total knowledge.
            What really interests me is what if god made you someone other than who you are? Is that a valid question? You know the part about the potter and the clay and all that.
            So a lot of it for me has turned into puppets on a string or pawns on the chess board. But I guess it better to be pawns of a loving creator than nothing at all.
            I mean to say what if he made someone else hitler or manson or some such psycho, maybe another person would have been worse than them but for the chessmaster moving upon them. Apparently, according to scripture, god moves first before anything can happen. I mean god needs his vehicles on both sides to show goodness right?
            Sorry, i’m sure you have answered these types of questions on your site before, i’m just getting acquainted, thanks.


            • Hi John, thanks – you raise some great questions here! I’d need to put some more thought into some of these before I could give you anything like a proper answer, but here’s my initial thoughts…

              Firstly, I generally take the default position that I’m quite likely to be wrong about any theological questions! It’s such a massive and mysterious subject, and who of us can really claim to understand God and eternity or even the Bible?

              A lot of it comes down to the question of how we know what God is like when we can’t see or (generally speaking) hear ‘him’? Do we just take what the Bible says on trust, or do we go with our own reason and experience? If we do accept the Bible, can we really be sure we’ve understood what it means? (And if we’re not sure that God is perfect, why would the Bible necessarily be right? 😉 )

              For instance, on that quote about God knowing someone before they were born – there’s more than one way of reading that, and I probably read it a little differently to you. For me it’s not about God knowing everything that’s ever going to happen or controlling us, but simply that he’d chosen and set apart that particular person (Jeremiah) for a particular role that was needed at the time. And Jeremiah argued with God and complained at him, which suggests he had at least a bit of choice.

              I think the question of whether or not God is completely in control is more complex than either/or. Here’s a post I wrote a while back on roughly this subject if you’re interested: Chance, Choice and God.

              On the Hitler and Manson question, and whether God needs vehicles on both sides to show his goodness, I’m not sure… I think I need to think about that a bit more! My own belief is that God doesn’t need evil to show his goodness, but that evil is always a potential flip-side of good, and that we’re all a mixture of better and worse with the capacity for great good and great evil.



  26. ReallyTheTruth says:

    The filthy jew bastard homo sucks Cock everyday?


  27. As moderator of this blog I’m calling time on needlessly offensive comments of the sort that are starting to appear here, mainly under screen names like RealTruth and ReallyTheTruth.

    I don’t mind swearing, and I don’t think God’s all that fussed about blasphemy and people insulting him. I also totally understand that many people here are hurting and angry and sometimes just need to let off steam. But when comments descend into playground insults with borderline racist and homophobic elements then I think a line has been crossed.

    For the time being I’m leaving up the last couple of examples of this, just so people know what I’m talking about. But I will remove them in due course, and I will instantly delete any further examples and block offending commenters.

    I repeat that I welcome comments from people who feel angry, hurt or disappointed with God, who feel they hate him or simply can’t understand what’s happening in their lives. I can completely empathise with this. But if all you intend to do is post strings of abuse that many readers will find highly offensive, I suggest you cut out the middle man and just take your insults directly to God.

    I’m planning a follow-up post to this one sometime in the new year. In the meantime, I wish you a good holiday season.


  28. Unaswered Prayers says:

    Oh yes, I hate God right now! I’m so tired of unanswered prayers. You go to church, read your bible, and pray. It doesn’t work. I asked him not allow my daughter to feel disappointment with the stress level she is having with her grades. She studies, stays after school, and has a private tutor. Still on test day, results are an F. I want to throw away my bible and say forget it. My child is crying because a selfish GOD will not allow her to have a break through. I’m finished with church, praying, and the bible. Why do all of this if truly it never works out after 3 years of stedfast praying. I do admit my faith has always been waivering. Always.


    • Hi Unanswered Prayers,

      Thank you for your comment and for sharing your very real frustrations. I hear you. The anger and disappointment, the sense of keeping up our side of the bargain but being let down by God, is very real and so many of us have been there. And I believe it’s always right and good to acknowledge our feelings and frustrations – and to express them, most importantly to God himself.

      From having wrestled with these kinds of issues over the years I’ve come to a slightly different perspective now. I’m not expecting you to accept it – maybe it’s not right for you, or maybe it will be one day but not yet. But for me, I now have rather a different view of God, of our relationship with him, and of why he may not always answer our prayers.

      So for me, I believe that God has to be utterly good and loving, or else he isn’t God.

      But sometimes the loving thing doesn’t look or feel like love. As a parent, I often have to frustrate or disappoint my kids because I know that giving them what they’re asking me for wouldn’t ultimately be the best for them. And I sometimes have to train them to do things they hate (chores, homework, exercise), knowing that I’m giving them skills for life. I think God does this too.

      Of course, you might say that getting good grades would clearly be best for your daughter. Maybe so. But maybe, just maybe, good grades don’t ultimately mean quite as much as they seem to right now. Maybe other things matter more in the long run. I don’t know.

      Finally, I think we all often fall into a view of religion that it if we do the right things (read the Bible, pray, go to church etc) then God should provide for us, answer our prayers, help us out in trouble. And that’s not totally wrong, but I think it slightly misses the point. I think God is calling us on into something deeper, where we’re in it for the sake of the relationship and not just for what we get out of it. Sometimes faith is the hardest, darkest path – but I still believe it’s ultimately the best one.

      But I do hear your frustrations and I understand something of how hard it is. Hang in there.


      • Unaswered Prayers says:

        Thank you so much for your reply. I actually did throw away my bible. I said, “lies, lies, lies” when I threw it away. Guess what? I accidently threw it in my neighbor’s trash! She is a Christian and sings in the choir. So, I felt really dumb. I felt so spiritually tired! I was just pouring my heart out to one of my good friend s, and she didn’t judge me. She told me to rest and it will be better. I told myself if my neighbor brings me my bible then God knows how I’ve been feeling. I believe that my frustration and disappointment has beeen brewing for awhile. Terrible childhood, my husband left me for another woman, and I didn”t get the job that I wanted. I’ve always looked on the bright side of things. Saying, “God, I trust you.” Yesterday, I broke. My daughter crying and saying, “everything was so good before I took my semester tests, mom!” That just made me throw in the towel! When I woke up this morning, I still said “God I hate you!” I was getting ready to for work and I broke down. I said to the Lord to please forgive me. I know he did forgive me and my actions and my unbelive in his existance of course. He forgives over and over again. I honestly feel such a relief! I feel like I had to hit rock bottom with my relationship with God to go up from here. I went to my neighbor’s trash and my bible wasn’t in there. I thought maybe she took it and will give it to me later. I then looked in my trash and there it was. I took it out! Now, I feel so free. I don’t know if the makes sense. God isn’t trying to punish me. He just wants me to be honest about how I was feeling. Get mad! Get angry! Normally, I would feel just guilt that God could never love because of all the mean things I said, but I feel not guilt. I feel stronger than ever!


        • Hi again, thanks very much for letting me know how things have progressed for you – that’s pretty amazing stuff!

          What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. And you’re right, God isn’t trying to punish you. And yes, it’s great to be honest and express your true feelings to God, including anger and hate. Honesty is one of the best ways to intimacy. And God does completely love you and your daughter!

          Do please feel free to write back any time – whether it’s an angry comment or a joyful one or anything else 🙂

          I wish you all the very best – God bless you.


        • brainfan says:

          I don’t want to assume anything, but I can empathize with the pain you feel about your daughter. I know you have a tutor for her, but have you had her tested for any sort of learning dysfunction? There are so many issues that can interfere with learning from dyslexia to hearing problems that she would never know that she has. If you haven’t spoken with a pediatrician about it, please do.


    • Ian says:

      I agree. We can pray about ANYTHING AND NOTHING HAPPENS! What crap is this? NOTHING HAPPENS. No wonder 90% of the world doesn’t believe. God’s shooting himself in the foot big time and he’s gonna lose for all of eternity. Just look at the scoreboard at the end of this age: SATAN 9,5 BILLION SOULS
      GOD 5 MILLION – Its a massacre. So God gets to watch his cherished creation writhe in agony for all of eternity? Some retirement. Satan is in the Lake of fire but God’s miserable – Satan wins. He has the most souls, God it’s ur own fault, u should’ve listened and answered our prayers, but no, u did nothing. U LOSE.


      • Leonie Maene says:

        You know, Satan will NEVER win! I don’t care how he hard life becomes, I don’t care if Satan seems to be on the winning hand or if God is sound asleep… You know who is not asleep, who is perhaps only the smallest reflection of what ‘God’ will ever be, but who will NEVER give up on love or compassion or goodness, inspite of all the horror is thrown around? Me!!!I am still here, 1 single sick human maybe, but I am NEVER going to give up on love and goodness, with or without God, I don’t care, I’m going for happiness for all human beings.. 💛


  29. whybother says:

    I hate God.

    As a kid I head the tales of the creation, the flood, and the exodus as well as the account of Jesus. Back then, I think I looked on those tales with a sense of awe, wonder and fear. I grew up in the 1980s during the ‘Satanic Panic’ and the Devil was everywhere hunting for souls to drag down to Hell. In between sermons on how slate shingles repell water off the church roof and the need for bigger donations; I heard all the Hellfire you could ever want. Unquencable fire, their worm dieth not, being bound and cast into outer darkness and how Hell hath enlarged itself. But God is love and expressed that love in Jesus Christ.

    For years, I generally believed those things and that all the troubles in the world were the direct result of Adam and Eve’s actions. During those years, I was perhaps-at best-ambivilant about God as I hadn’t read the Holy Bible myself.

    Life is hard, I personally was born with severe vison limitations for one. Not to bemoan my own ills I’ll just say it isn’t fun. Heck, reading this blog is painful both from a content standpoint and a real physical one. Yet, I believed that all these ills were the direct result of the first sin and manipulation by the Devil and God’s plan would fix all things in time.

    In the early 2000s I decided that now would be the time to start reading the Bible for myself. I thought things would make sense now that I’m older and have a better grasp on words and world events. I began reading from the beginning and I found the further in I went, the uneasier I became. For instance, the tree of knowledge may or not have been literal, but the consequences wern’t instant. For example God actively curses man and woman: He inflicts pains in child bearing, he causes mankind to toil on the Earth for food and makes the ground unproductive. God also created sexism by cursing Eve as having to be subserviant to Adam. This is not a judgement of death, but pure torment prior to it. Genesis tells us that the world was wicked in Noah’s time but doesn’t provide adaquate detail of how. Same for the tower of Babel. God is threatened by a pile of bricks and confuses man’s languages and scatters them rather than providing guidance as to where they were going wrong? Jacob extorts Esau’s birth right from him. He tricks Issac into blessing him with the help of his and Esau’s mother. We learn that God hated Esau by God’s own admission. Then there’s the incident where Jacob convices a village to enter into the covanent with God by circumcision and while the men were in pain slaughters them all. This along with later incidents such as God hardening Pharoh’s heat and numerous incidents caused me to question the righteousness of God.

    Despite these misgivings, I wasn’t ready to hate the God I believed in. I continued to discuss my beliefs with others and made best efforts to set aside my own jealousies and vengeful thoughts. I’ve done my best to extend courtesies and give others the benefit of doubt in many situations. I found over the years, the more effort I made the extend courtesies and understanding, the more I’ve been met with evil. Understand, I’m not miffed because I didn’t get anything in return. Receiving nothing would be fine. I’m refering to evil. Either words or actions. And a lot of that evil has come from so called Christians. Even simple recreational activities I engage in are fraught with failure that is beyond chance. But that’s not the worst of it. From 9/11 onward, the world as a whole has entered a downward spiral. War mongers are glorified, while those advocateing solutions involving diplomacy and working to change the conditions that bring about instability that leads to extremism are shunned as weak by the Christians I encounter. Meanwhile, the more we involve ourselves in war campanes, the more powerfull those extremist groups grow.

    Now in the present, I’ve gotten back to the Bible. I have to know what’s what. I figured perhaps I just need new translation. Maybe I’m misunderstanding the word because the King James is written in an older style and some of the English words had different usages back then, much like someone might have understanding slang from the 1980s even today. The reality is however, the new translations only further solidify my disgust and reinforce my anger. All the examples above are made even more clear. The myth that Satan is somehow a rebel is totally dispelled in Job as it’s emphasized that Satan is working in 100% lock step with the desire of God. The Bible tells us in many places that God deliberately creates people with all sorts of maladies. Jesus even concured in the New Testament when he explained that the blind man was created so the glory of God could be manifest.

    I’m running on long, so I’ll wrap it up. So God created Adam and Eve with limited abilities. When they faild due to those limitations, he cursed them and everyone there after. He further creates people who have enven fewer abilities than average, but orders, demands, and decrees under penalty of eternal torture that we be perfect. He further leaves it up to use falable beings to preserve and transmit his word without giving guidance when we stray, but ordanes and delivers horendous judgments when we inevitably do. Further as with Pharoh and Job, God intervenes and creates calamity and distress where it wasn’t needed. Pharoh would have let Isreal go, but God kept the bloodfest up. Job was loyal, but God ran him through the ringer for a bet. God kills the innocent to punish the guilty. If this is done to forshadow Jesus it’s pretty damn sick. And too top it off, the doctrine of predestination is peppered throughout the books and is most clear in Romans.

    So God created a world made it fall into “sin” so he could curse it, and abuse it only to create the solution of salvation, but only for those he chose before starting the world in the first place. As for others like myself, I’m going to Hell for following God’s irristible will and there’s not a thing I could do to stop it.

    I HATE GOD (just like he wants)


    • Hi whybother, thanks for getting in touch. (And I think yours may be the longest comment I’ve ever received – almost as long as one of my posts! 😉 )

      All I can say is, I hear you. I hear your story, and I’m sorry for what you’ve experienced. Life can be pretty shitty quite a lot of the time, I know from my own experience.

      But I do think there are other, perhaps more helpful ways of reading the whole picture than the way you’ve chosen to read it. My own interpretations and conclusions are very different to yours in the end.

      For me the Bible isn’t the most important thing – certainly not as the completely literally true, eternally set-in-stone Word of God. For me it’s a dynamic and evolving thing, a mixed set of stories about God and people; something to grapple with and argue with, not something to just lie down and accept as The Truth. And I don’t think truth is ever best understood as fixed literal facts; truth is about people, relationships, poetry, paradox.

      For me what matters is reality (much bigger than truth), and I believe that the ultimate reality is the source of goodness, beauty, reason, life, love. And it’s that reality which I call God, and which I genuinely believe we can glimpse and encounter – for me, in the person of Christ. Unfortunately, a lot of the time religion and church and the Bible put barriers in the way and give us ideas of a cruel and vindictive God.

      I do hear you though, and I see where you’re coming from. But I just see things a bit differently. And I don’t believe you’re damned to hell, whatever you think.


      • whybother says:

        Well, maybe finding God is one of those things that takes a lifetime. I can’t honestly tell you that I’ll never change my mind.

        The other day this topic came up while rag chewing on the CB and someone said: “If you hate him so much why not become an atheist?” My reply was something along the lines of “If I could, then I wouldn’t hate him.” It’s hard for skeptic to grasp that concept.

        I had to go on to explain that based on studying religious customs of other cultures and my own possible near death experience, my burden of proof is satisfied for now that there is a God. Unfortunately, even non Biblical versions of God seem to be just as bloodthirsty as the Judeo-Christian accounts.

        I’m also convinced that civilizations in the past had more advanced knowledge than we give them credit for. For instance, in the Bible, God created woman from the rib of man. The story may not be literal, but someone likely knew that men carry female genetic information and conveyed that knowledge in a way that laymen of the time could deal with. Or, mankind being created from the dust of the Earth. Amazing since medical science revealed that we contain and need for our survival various elements (iron, zinc, et al). Again the story might not be literal, but there seems to be an advanced understanding.

        It angers and upsets me that a being or maybe a group of beings (not sure about that trinity thing) who created these fascinating sciences and universal laws uses them for destruction just like we do.


        • Interesting thoughts! I’m agnostic on whether ancient civilizations had more advanced knowledge – my feeling is they didn’t, but I might be wrong. What I’m sure they did have (like us) is a few geniuses with insight well ahead of their time, but even they would have had to work with the level of scientific knowledge available at the time, which inevitably would have a lot of gaps and errors.

          As for God, for me I just don’t see any way that God can really be God and not be perfect. The only way I can see that God could be less than perfectly good would be if ‘he’ were an evolved or created being himself, but then he wouldn’t really be God. For me God has to be the Ultimate, the absolute reality, and it doesn’t make sense to me for that to be flawed or bad. For me goodness has to be the true reality; evil is always a twisting of that or a falling away from that.

          I do see genuine goodness, beauty, love and reason in the universe, albeit imperfectly reflected here in this present order of things. And I just don’t see how these can come from something lesser, something (someone) who is evil or hateful.

          There is nasty stuff in the Bible, for sure. But my own (admittedly somewhat sketchy and subjective) experiences of God are so unlike those parts of the Bible that I just have to lay them to one side. The God I think I’ve experienced in limited ways is one of love and mercy, not one of hate and revenge.


    • Ian says:

      Yes, it’s like why even bother going through the creation if u already know the outcome? How f……………. G dumb is that?


    • Paul says:

      Does anyone ever get the impression that God might be schizophrenic? Sounds like a wife-beater to me. Hellish to live with, but occasionally comes home steaming drunk in a lovey-dovey mood……..


    • Paul says:

      To be fair, they didnt have schizophrenia meds in those days. Thats why god behaves so erratically.


  30. SpeakingHonestly says:

    Why does God hate single people? Don’t we have enough problems as it is, especially being all alone with no love life today.


    • God doesn’t hate single people. Married people are just as likely to complain that he hates them, but the truth is we all have hard things to face in life. It’s how we face them that makes the difference.


      • Locked up says:

        I agree. I am a married person, and I cannot tell how many years, I have wished I was never married. Every person here has their pain, bitterness, unanswered prayers, unforgivings, troubles, questions, anger, frustration.
        I too, am struggling hard. I have known God for many years. But have backslidden a few years ago because I couldn’t accept the sufferings I am going through now. I too, don’t understand why some people can have so many things, but here, I am merely surviving but troubles and sufferings seem not to have enough of me. I am working hard andhave long worn out.
        Where can I go to? God? He told us to love unconditionally, just as He has. But I told Him, I cannot do it. So maybe that is the reason for my regress in faith. I cannot meet up with His standards and I feel that He is unfair. But now, I am also locked up in my ‘sins’ mentioned above here. Where else can I go to? Can anyone tell me? God wants me back? But I find it so hard to love people who despises me and spits at me, I truly hate putting on a fake ‘Christian look’ that is not real.


        • Hi Locked up, thank you for your words and for your honesty.

          I think it’s so important to be honest with God and with yourself, particularly about how you feel. It’s okay to feel angry, to feel upset, even to feel hate. We can’t help how we feel, and feelings are not wrong. I’ve found that when I admit my negative, nasty feelings honestly to God, he is compassionate and doesn’t judge me. A lot of the Psalms in the Bible express this kind of emotion – ‘God, why have you abandoned me? Why won’t you hear my cry?’

          I know you feel that you are locked up in your ‘sins’, but I don’t believe that anything you’ve done or do can keep God from loving and forgiving you. He’s not a harsh, vindictive judge as we sometimes feel, but a kind and loving father. Whatever my children had done I don’t believe I could ever reject them, and nor do I believe God ever rejects us. I’ve shouted and sworn at God at times, and told him I hate him; he’s big enough to take that.

          But I understand that at the moment you are going through incredibly difficult and painful times, and there may be nothing anyone can say that will really help. We can only stand alongside you in solidarity and, for my part, pray that light soon shines through into the darkness for you.


  31. sammadness says:

    So, you can’t say this and that about God. Do you a priest? Why I hate God or not is not your business. I hate God because so many things.. And I Love him because so many reasons. Who are you? We are human.. This world is fulfilled by devil.. We are devil. We are not accepted by God.. We are already dead.. Because I can’t see the truth if Jesus died for us to clear pie sins or not. I didn’t get the information about the original of his status – the son of God – all are “if”… I mean if he is god, our sins is cleared by him? If not?.. You argument will be like this: “he did some insane miracle” how about devil? He can do it too.. Like God.. Do you really believe that we are created by God? I need prove not argument… A real one.. All this discussion is ended with “if”.. God is “if”.. Not a “definitely” still “maybe”. I need a “definitely argument” not “maybe argument”. To summarize, we can’t give people suggestion to love God or not.. Everything is logically “if”.. So, if you are God.. What will you do? Even from now I can’t see or hear Him definitely .. People say it is from your heart, intuition and feeling not from God himself.. Sure.


    • Hi sammadness, thanks for your comment. I’m really sorry, I’m not 100% sure I’m correctly understanding everything you’re saying here. I’m not a priest, and I’m not trying to stop you saying anything about God. (All I’ve said is that I reserve the right to remove comments that I deem to be unnecessarily obscene or racist).

      Also I don’t think it’s my business why you hate or love God – though I’m very happy for you to explain if you want to.

      I try not to make any arguments based on Jesus’s “insane miracles” – I just look at his life and character, his actions and words, and I see someone unique who points me to what God is like. (Though it’s true that I do believe in the resurrection.)

      I think you’re saying that you want definite answers, not ‘maybe’s and ‘if’s? I understand that, but you know we can’t get definite answers. But I do think it’s possible to have enough certainty about God, to know that he is real and good even if we can never prove it 100%. I’d recommend you read Keith Ward’s “Why There Is Almost Certainly A God”.

      I wish you all the very best.


  32. N.R.V says:

    Dear writer,

    I myself have, from an agnostic – atheïstic starten point, come to simular conclusions… But, a few things I have to point out:
    – even in the New Testament, in the book of revelations, God ‘falls back’ to this ‘old habit’ of demanding utter obedience and adoration, and smiting all those that refuse…
    -in the Bible, Lucifer/Satan kills 0-10, depending on how to look at the story of Job.
    -in the Bible, all Lucifer does “wrong”, is rebel against God (who is, in the OT, rather evil), and make us doubt Him.


    • Hi, just wanted to say thank you for your thoughts, and I’ll reply properly as soon as I can! 🙂


    • Hi N.R.V.,
      Good questions! For me, a lot depends on how you approach the Bible. Is it a set of perfect texts that we have to read literally, or can it be interpreted more symbolically – and are some parts of it actually ‘wrong’ or at least not presenting the best and clearest picture of reality? My view is somewhere in the middle – I see the Bible as very important, but not perfect, and I think it makes more sense when not read in an overly literal way.

      Some Christians over the centuries have questioned whether the book of Revelation should even be in the Bible at all. I’m agnostic on that. The only bits in it that I find really helpful are the descriptions of heaven and of the New Jerusalem, the heavenly city where God will dwell with people. As for the rest, it’s mostly so highly symbolised that it’s almost impossible to understand what it’s really trying to convey.

      I’ve written a few posts you might be interested in, addressing some of the subjects you raise:

      Have a quick look if you get the time, and let me know what you think! 🙂


  33. InTorment. says:

    Well I just come across this blog today and well afraid this is just where I am at now. I am afraid I hate God too and it is not just a passing moment but something I have been stuck in for a while. I feel so frustrated, let down, rejected, forsaken and this has been an ongoing struggle for too long. Over and over I have just wanted to die. I have struggled with fierce suicidal temptations, wanting to end the torment I feel over things, but then not able to in the finish because of my fear what is waiting for me beyond my death. Many times I have stood right on the edge of taking my life, but couldn’t. I am not saying this for any sort of sympathy or to worry anyone. I don’t know if I could ever kill myself, but the struggle I have had with this has been absolute hell. I have felt cursed. I have felt God has forsaken me just that I have been stuck like this and have searched everywhere for help but not found it. On top of the things that pushed me into this state, I have found Christianity with fears I am rejected, and of Gods punishment have just made my troubles a whole lot worse and I really resent him for it. Today I really let God have it. I started saying the F..k Word – I told him I was F…kg sick of it, and Where the F… was He, Why didn’t he help him. I was driving my car, hitting my steering wheel with my fist. I told him why don’t you f….g kill me. Mind you there was little fear that he might just do that. He could wipe me out in instant. Sometimes I wish we would. Sometimes I have thought maybe he really wants me too as well – otherwise why has he allowed me to struggle with this over and over. Why hasn’t he helped me? Like I said I do feel cursed. I hate my life. I hate this world. I was a Christian but I don’t know if I am any more. I feel I can’t be, to have the problems I have had and so little change in my life that you are meant to have. I think I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can trust God at all anymore. I don’t know if I can believe in him, but now all I feel is condemnation, because I do believe in him at the same time. This is all I can say right now. Sorry for any errors in my writing. I am too exhausted I think to bother correcting anything at the moment, but wanted to say something or make some connection, because right now I feel so alone in this. I can’t talk to most Christians I am afraid, because they can’t handle my questions, doubts and anger at God etc. I can’t go to church, pray, read my bible or anything. All things that were so important to me once. I don’t like where I at. I don’t feel comfortable with it at all, but don’t know over all what else I can do. I feel I can’t keep going to God, when I feel such rejection, when everything seems to show that he is just not there for you, and God resembles to me a big bully or abusive person, that wants to make us terrified and add torment to already tormented lives. I am afraid I hate him with a passion now honestly.


    • Hi InTorment, I just want to acknowledge your comment straight away and thank you for your honesty. I’m not here to judge you or anyone, and I would like to help if I can. I’ll do my best to reply more fully as soon as I can. Thank you again.


    • Hi again InTorment, I hear you and I really can understand a little of where you’re coming from – though my own experiences have not been anything like as bad as yours. But there have been periods of my life when I’ve hated God and wished to die, and I’ve also gone through times of being furious with God and swearing at him – I blogged about one of these here: Swearing at God.

      I’ve also struggled with depression and very bleak thoughts, and wondered at times whether God cared or whether there was any point in being a Christian – or whether I was in fact a Christian.

      There are still times when I feel this way, but mostly I feel like I’ve come through the worst. My perspective now is that I do (mostly!) believe that God is there, and that he genuinely does care – but that nonetheless we do still sometimes go through absolutely hellish times. I don’t have any easy answers to why this is or what to do about it, but I don’t any longer believe that it is God who torments us or that he wishes us to suffer. But I think it’s okay to get angry with him.

      I also believe that in Jesus we are all forgiven, and I am absolutely sure that God does not hate you, condemn you or reject you, whatever you’ve done or said or felt.

      And nor do I any longer believe that God sends anyone to hell – my understanding of hell is very different these days: Hell as unreality and unrelationship.

      I’m aware that all this only scratches the surface and probably doesn’t help you much. I’m very happy to talk more via email if you’d be up for that? And right now I will pray for you if that’s okay. You honestly aren’t alone – I know from this blog that there are many others who feel as you do or have been through times like the one you’re going through. I really wish you all the best.



      • Ian says:

        Jesus says hell exists you say it doesn’t, who should I believe?
        Jesus describes a literal place where people burn in agony for eternity, u say he doesn’t, who do I believe a mere mortal who knows nothing, or the Supreme Commander of the universe?
        Its a no brainer.


    • PS sorry, just updated my last comment to make the links work! 🙂


    • Ian says:

      Me too. He has allowed me and my family to be poor for years. My children are depressed and he does nothing. I give money to the poor, i buy them food, i go to church, have changed my life, become a good person and he still does f……… k all. I abhor him with a passion and if I could kill him I would. Oh, but wait, now he’s gonna send me to burn in hell fire for ever becoz of wot i just said? What do you call a person who rules with fear? A TYRANT
      So that’s our God, a tyrant. Who sends even good people to hell just becoz they didn’t want to be his buddy – that’s the bottom line isn’t it?
      Fuck him.


  34. InTorment. says:

    Hi Harvey,
    Thanks for your quick replies to my post. My last name is Harvey. 🙂
    Finding your blog today and this article you wrote with its comments and reading different peoples struggles has helped a lot all ready. Even just the little bit I have read so far. I have felt strangely peaceful tonight, and maybe that was your prayers too. Though I’m not sure I should feel any peace either.

    I did also read the article you wrote on swearing at God just before I wrote my first post and well that is probably what gave me the courage to share what happened today and was a little comforting that someone else has done that. Can’t say I feel good about it though, but it probably was an expression of what is on the inside anyway, and has been there for a long time but couldn’t express it for fear. I truly don’t know where I am with God though, to be where I am, not just today, but with where my life has taken me. Afraid I am just rotten through and through. You can email me, but I will say now I am not sure I can find my way back to God and ever fully believe or trust him honestly. But thanks for your prayers and very kind comments.


    • Hi, thanks for replying! I’ve already sent you an email a little earlier this afternoon – well, this afternoon for me in Britain, but I’m guessing not for you 🙂

      I really honestly don’t believe you are rotten through and through – whatever you’ve done and whatever’s happened to you. In fact I can say with confidence that you’re not! But – I can completely understand how you might feel like that – and that’s perfectly okay.

      Also totally understand that you feel you might not ever be able to find your way back to God or trust him completely – and I that’s perfectly okay too. That’s simply the honest reality of where you are at the moment, and not something to feel bad about. But who knows what the future will bring?


  35. Alice says:

    I found your WordPress while searching for reasons to stay loyal to a God who won’t answer or listen to my prayers. I’m having trouble wanting to even believe in a God who is letting me continue to suffer and who won’t help those suffering more than me. I hate him right now and I don’t know if I’ll ever trust God with my undying faith and loyalty after I find my way out of this darkness that has come over my life. I’m unsure as to whether or not I should keep trying or just give up on God in general.


    • Hi Alice, thank you for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through – obviously I don’t know the details but it sounds awful.

      Firstly I just want to say that you’re not alone, and there’s nothing at all wrong or bad with what you’re feeling. It’s completely normal to feel hatred towards God when you’re going through dark times and it feels like he’s not answering your prayers.

      I think almost everyone with any faith goes through times like this when we feel abandoned, rejected or just ignored by God; when we pray and pray and nothing seems to happen and we question whether he exists or cares. If you look at Psalm 88 in the Bible, or parts of the book of Job, this has been part of the experience of people of faith for thousands of years. And there are no answers anyone can offer that are really helpful.

      These times when we weep and rage and hate God are real, but they’re not the only or final or all-defining reality. We can get through, often with the support of others. And from my own experience I believe that when we come out the other end we’ll often find that God was there all along, and that he does care. But I also know that’s not massively helpful to hear when you’re in the middle of the darkness.

      I hope this post might possibly be a bit more helpful: When the very worst happens.

      In the meantime I really wish you all the best, and I will genuinely be praying for you.



  36. Jay says:

    He never gave me a wife and family which is a good enough reason, and he gave it to so many others which i will never understand at all. Go figure.


    • I hear you, and yes it is painful when life doesn’t work out the way we wish – and it’s understandable to feel anger or hate towards God about this.

      I really don’t believe that God is to blame for our circumstances – for whether or not we have a wife and kids, or a job, or whatever. But I understand that it can feel that way, and that’s okay.

      But please don’t let that understandable resentment prevent you from seeing the bigger picture or receiving the other good things around you, even if you can’t currently have particular things you really long for.


      • Jay says:

        God did say that man should not be alone, and i will give him a wife as a gift which i will certainly agree on that. And for many of us good single men which i am sure many others will agree with me as well, it is very sad to be alone since it is very obvious why married men will always live much longer than us single men. And now that many women today are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, is the real reason why many of us men are single which many of us are not single by choice. The good old fashioned women of years ago are all gone which would’ve made it much easier finding love just like our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles did since finding love in those days was certainly so much more easier for them which many of our parents are still together today. Most women today have certainly changed for the worst over the years as you can see. It was a very good thing that God made much better women years ago which is a very good reason why many of us men are here today. Thank you very much for your support. Peace.


  37. Anonymous woman. says:

    You speak so negatively about women, have you thought that maybe this is why you are still single? I do not deny that women can be all those negative things you listed, but are men so perfect honestly?

    There are as many single women, as men. I am a single woman and many of your arguments against women of today, I could give the same, or other negative arguments about some men, and their selfishness, unfaithfulness, abusiveness of women and children etc., which creates distrust and difficulties for many women in their relationships with men. I would never say though that most, or many men are like this, in the same way you talk so negatively about women. I try to see the good in people, even though there is much bad in all of us. I am sorry if you have been terribly hurt by some women, but don’t blame all of us, or let that blind you to your own faults.

    One thing I have a lot of trouble with about men, and creates a lot of distrust in me is when a man blames all of their problems on a woman, or women. I have had experience of an abusive man who did just this and was somehow completely oblivious to his own very obvious and serious faults.

    I am not denying we women can be all those negative things you listed, and even worse, but the way you talk, its like men and you yourself have no faults at all and I find this quite irritating and arrogant honestly.

    Some verses to think about:

    Matthew 7:1-5 New International Version (NIV)

    Judging Others
    7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

    3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye

    John 8

    8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

    2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

    But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

    9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

    11 “No one, sir,” she said.
    “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”


    • Dear Anonymous woman, thank you for commenting, and I’m really sorry to hear about the abuse you’ve experienced.

      I really wish to distance myself from the views expressed by Jay above. I do sympathise with his situation and understand a little of why he feels as he does, but I utterly reject the notion that women in general are bad or to blame, or that men are any better. We are all in this mess of being human together; we are all flawed and broken people.

      Those two gospel passages you quoted are key. We aren’t in a position to judge or condemn others. I can’t and don’t condemn anyone who has commented on this post, though a few have expressed views I personally find abhorrent. But I don’t know their situations or what has led them to this place. All I know is that I too am imperfect in so many ways, and I too feel anger sometimes towards God but I realise that he is not to blame for my difficulties.

      My advice would be to avoid responding to Jay as I don’t think the conversation is likely to go anywhere helpful to either of you, but it’s up to you of course.

      I wish you every blessing.


      • Anonymous woman. says:

        Its okay, I may have over reacted a little to what I thought Jay was saying, and not knowing some of the pain that was behind it and this is your blog anyway and the message was directed to you really. I shouldn’t have butted in like I did and I am really sorry for doing that, but thanks anyway.


    • Ian says:

      You left out, “If you judge, judge righteously” so we can judge.


  38. Jay says:

    To Anonymous Woman, i have a very good reason to be so bitter when i was married at one time and my wife cheated on me with another woman no less. And i was a very good husband at the time, and never mistreated her at all which it wasn’t good enough for her. Today we live in a world with a lot of sin since many women today are leaving their men for other women which i have a friend that had that happened to him as well, and he was a very good husband to his wife too. There is no reason at all why i should be hurt so much by other women which i am a very good man which i was a very good husband at the time. I thought that i was going to have a wife and family which so many others were very blessed with that gift, and i am no different than they are and i always wanted that gift as well. Why should i be all alone when so many other men and women are settled? So many very extremely lucky blessed men and women out there, and i wish that i could’ve been one of them. God should not put people on this earth if they were meant to be all alone which is very unfair since we didn’t as to be born to begin with. It is a real shame that many of us good men and women have to suffer with loneliness, and there are a lot of good women out there which i will admit too that wanted so much to find a good man to have a family with. It is very true what i have said that married men will live much longer than us single men which it is very obvious why, especially the ones that have their children which i don’t even have today. I really wish that i could’ve been born at a much earlier time when it was so much more easier finding love in those days since i would’ve been married with a good wife and family, and my aunt and uncle are very blessed since they are starting their 68th year together and still going strong. All i ever wanted was for God to bless me with a good wife and family that so many others have which would’ve made my life so complete. No one should ever have to be all alone unless they choose to be. Peace.


    • Dear Jay, I hear you and I appreciate that your own experience has been difficult. I don’t know you, and I don’t want to make any assumptions about you which are bound to be wrong.

      All I would say, based on what you’ve said, is that you do appear to be blaming everyone else – God, your wife, women in general, modern society. At the same time, you seem to view yourself as entirely blameless and faultless, referring to yourself always as a good man and a good husband. I understand that it feels like this to you, but in my experience it’s never that everyone else is to blame and we ourselves are entirely blameless.

      So I’m sure you did try your best to be a good man and husband. But I have never met an entirely blameless and consistently faultless person, either man or woman. I’m certainly not one myself. I’m well aware that I’m often very hard to live with, though I try hard not to be. It’s just the human condition – we’re all flawed and imperfect people. We need forgiveness, and we need to forgive.

      For myself, I really don’t believe that women today are less good than they were in the past, nor that women or society or God are to blame for our own particular situations. Yes, it is always very hard and sad when things go wrong with relationships, and when we are lonely. But marriage really does not solve all problems nor make all loneliness go away. Life just is hard at times, and it’s not something we can blame anyone for.

      So I do feel for you in your difficult situation, but I also disagree with the interpretation you place upon it. I sympathise with your feelings of loneliness and betrayal, but I can’t condone the blaming of women in general.

      Nonetheless, I wish you peace and blessing and I will pray for the best for you.


  39. Anonymous woman. says:

    Dear Jay,
    It is late where I am, but I just wanted to say quickly I am very sorry to hear what happened to you with your wife and I know it must be terribly difficult and painful to bear, but unfaithfulness and injustices happen on both sides to men and women and by both men and women. I think I was reacting to things I felt you were saying in a one sided way, perhaps not appreciating or knowing how difficult things may have been for you. I probably carry my own hurts over what I have experienced of some men too. I hope you do find healing from the pain and hurt you carry and peace as well. Best wishes.


  40. Jay says:

    To Anonymous Woman, It wouldn’t be so bad for me if i could meet a good woman that Isn’t so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, which is a very good excellent reason why i am still single today since Most of the women now do want the best and won’t settle for less. And i have other friends that really agree with me since they had very bad experiences with these type of women too. It is a real shame how the times have changed since years ago when both men and women really had to struggle to make ends meat which many men and women accepted one another for who they were. And many marriages did last very long too which today the divorce rate is so very much out of control now. So it is very hard to blame many of us good men that are still single now which many of us are not single by choice. I really have no reason to blame myself since i never did anything wrong to begin with. So now for me being single is very hard on me since being alone all the time is no fun at all, and even God said that man should not be alone which i very much agree on that. I know that i have repeated myself with the same comment i made earlier, and i am very sorry for that. Well the ones that are married i will certainly say that they have a lot to be very thankful for, and they really should go to church to pray and thank God for what they have since many of us out there would’ve certainly wanted that gift as well. Thank you very much for your support. Peace.


  41. Darren says:

    He can kiss my ass. I have tried to be faithful. I can’t vi have begged for a break bye won’t I can’t take my life any longer. I renounced him today and honestly hope if he exists he burns in hell. After reading what you wrote I realize he is a mass murdering bully. There is a lot I don’t know about him but I what little no do know I don’t like. Life is too hard to bear yet I have some fear of what’s next if I take my life. Does the real suffering begin then? What the hell did he evn create us for? He is sick in the head.


    • Hi Darren, thank you for commenting. I hear how angry and hurt you must be feeling right now, and that’s okay. Please, please don’t take your life. Whatever you believe and whatever you’re currently going through, you are worth more than that. Your life does matter, no matter what it feels like. And however bad things are they can always get better, and in my experience of some pretty awful times they generally do get better in the end.

      As for your feelings towards God, I do understand that. I don’t agree with you, but I can see why you think that – and there are times when I’ve felt the same. Sometimes it does look like God is hateful, horrible, homicidal. But I really, really don’t believe that is what he is like at all. With all my heart I believe that above all else, he is love. Love cannot defeat evil by a show of power or violence, so evil seems to win in the short term. But love always wins in the end.


  42. Alicia says:

    Do you realise, evangelical liberal, those old testament atrocities are still happening, even as you were writing this? Has it occured to you jesus himself did not condemn the old testament brutality? He even said he is in support of the old testament teachings (one wonders if he gave the massacres and brutality a standing ovation..oh! he went through the system himself!) What loving God wipes out 70,000 of his chosen race off the face of the earth over a crime commited by their commander? If he could do that to his own chosen people, what more can he do to “sinners” like you? Stop twisting his barbaric actions into something good… Please do wake up.


    • Hi Alicia, thanks for your comment. I appreciate your perspective, and of course what you say makes sense if you accept a literalist/fundamentalist approach to the Bible. However, I don’t take that approach – because I don’t believe it works logically, spiritually, historically or linguistically.

      So yes, some Christians (mainly Calvinists and fundamentalists) would agree with your reading that God committed and commanded bloodshed in the Old Testament. Of course, they would say that he was right and just to do so, because he is a holy and righteous judge and has to punish sin and evil.

      For myself this doesn’t work. I accept that the Old Testament records these things, but I do not accept it as a perfect account for all time, nor as expressing the fulness of God’s character and will.

      I don’t see that Jesus endorses the Old Testament atrocities; he barely refers to them, apparently not viewing them as particularly relevant to his mission.

      My own overwhelming experience is of a completely loving God who goes to the utmost lengths to redeem anyone who wishes it. That doesn’t mean he is always ‘nice’, any more than any good parent (or any good person) is always nice. But he is good – that’s my experience. I can’t prove it to you, but nor can I discount it for myself.

      When I look at the universe and at people, I see evidence of goodness, reason, love, beauty. For me the most reasonable explanation for these qualities is that they arise from a source that is good, wise, loving and beautiful. If God exists, as I believe ‘he’ does, and if he is truly God and not some minor contingent deity, he cannot but be perfect. And this perfection must surely include love, goodness, wisdom and beauty.

      So I appreciate your concern and your anger, but I do not share your views. I genuinely wish you all the best.


  43. lily says:

    To: The Evangelical Liberal
    I truly hope God does work in your life and show you the truth cuz I don’t want anyone to go there.. you seem like a very nice person.

    God bless you too 🙂


  44. Isha says:

    I frankly hate Gos because he is such a jerk. He expects us to follow his word and do what he says and still does not want to bless people. Look at what he did in the book of job. To a faultless great man he caused all imaginable pain and suffering and just gave the excuse that he is testing him. He is a life ruiner and he justifies himself. Look at me, I can do whatever I want I am God nobody can question me everybody is dumb so let me mess with them!!! That’s God in a nutshell. I am going through several health complaints at a young age and not achieved where I want to reach because of this jerk called God and all the chaos and bullying and isolation he put in my tumultuous childhood. And he blesses my enemies


    • Hi Isha, thanks for your comment and I’m really sorry to hear about the difficulties you’ve experienced and are experiencing. I understand your anger with God and I think he does too. For myself, I don’t believe that God is the kind of God you think he is, nor that he is to blame for the bad things that happen in our lives. But I appreciate that you feel differently and that things are very hard for you. And though you may not think it’s worth much I will nonetheless pray for blessing in your life.


      • Isha says:

        Hi, I am so sorry for the late reply…. But thank you so much for your understanding and kind words and prayer. Yes the struggle is actually really harsh… I have wasted time, energy and money on curing myself and I reach nowhere. That’s the worst part. I lost opportunities because of this and I am unable to process the pain of not being able to get back all the time that is lost.

        Before I got chronic illness since last December, I was already depressed and stressed and going through an emotional breakdown with bitterness and anger. That is the worst part. He just had to add injury to the insult. I was patient the first few months but then I really lost my patience. Why can’t he just heal me? I begged him and he doesn’t care. I open the Bible praying to God and I get messages like God punishing the Israelites or Babylonians or God testing Job. I got furious… I ended up shredding the Bible. It is too much for an 18 year old kid to bear.

        I know as a human I may have sinned and done wrong things. But heck am I a criminal? What did I do so bad that I deserve nothing good? The fact is the whole of my life I have been so very helpful and nice to people – never cussed anyone, always sweet and nice. I have tried at least I can say that. I am not one of those rebel kids who just dabble into things that are none of business. And the so called mean people, the enemies of mine? They are more successful than me! They go to college, the enjoy, they have a life? And I just get laughed at by everyone for being a loser.

        The worst part is all these church people or Christian people who I interact with on a daily basis – parents, teachers and counsellors – they say I have no right to feel sad. No no… Apparently I am supposed to shut up and keep praising God. I am supposed to love God no matter what. When I honestly and very very frankly tell someone how terrible I am feeling and how cynical I am about God – I hear horrible things. One person told me – that the “Devil poisoned my heart”. All this is so very insensitive and rude to hear!


        • Gbolahan says:

          I am sorry. I don’t even know you. But I apologize. Please. Please.


        • Hi Isha, I’m really, really sorry for taking so long to reply – I’ve been away on holiday and then got caught up with work deadlines, but I should have got back to you long before this.

          I’m so sorry to hear all that you are going through. Please do not listen to those who say that it is your fault – it isn’t and can’t be. Please don’t listen to those that call you a loser – you aren’t. You are an amazing person.

          Please also try not to listen to those deeply misguided Christians who tell you to just shut up and praise God. I understand why they say that, but at times like these it is impossible and would be a lie for you. You have to be honest with yourself and with God – you are angry and upset with him, you feel let down and mistreated, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.

          I do not know why you are going through what you are, but I do not believe that you are to blame. I also don’t believe that God is doing this to you to punish you or test you. I believe that sometimes suffering sometimes just happens, because we’re in a messed-up world full of messed-up people and not everything is how God wants it to be right here and now.

          I do believe that in the end there will be justice, that wrongs will ultimately be righted, oppressors will be overthrown, the downtrodden will be raised up. But I also think that God plays the long game and we sometimes have to wait a very long time before this happens.

          I’m not sure why God plays such a long game but I think part of it is that he has to act out of love. And love cannot overthrow by force; it has to wear down opposition over years. Love is the weakest force in the universe because it cannot coerce, but it is also the strongest, the one that will outlast death and overcome entropy, that will win in the very end.

          But for now, right here, things are not always good or nice or easy or right. The powerful tread on the weak and the innocents suffer.

          Sorry, I do realise nothing I can say will probably help, but I want you to know I’m thinking of you and I am saddened by your suffering. And I believe that Jesus does care and grieves as well, though I know it doesn’t feel that way.


        • Leonie says:

          I’m so sorry for your pain. I’d say I pray for you but God doesnt really listen to my prayers much so that probably wont help. So I’ll just send it from my own heart then. Bye;


        • Ian says:

          Alisha, I left my last church becoz I have NEVER EVER experienced such two faced lying hipocracy ever in my entire life. They are a bunch of hell bound low life sub human trash. I have non Christian friends who are better people then some Christians I know. I abhor them with a passion.


  45. Gbolahan says:

    I don’t know if God is real. I believe He is real. I don’t know if hell is real. I believe it is real. The thing that gets us to hell is free will. The power to choose. If we didn’t have that, we would not sin. I would love God completely now.
    I hate free will. I wish Adam and Eve and Lucifer didn’t have free will. I wish a force field had been placed around THAT TREE in Eden.
    I wish. I wish. I wish.
    I wish it would all end TODAY. I’m TIRED of holding on. I am tired. I have cried. Ecclesiastes says it is all MEANINGLESS. FUTILE. POINTLESS.
    I hate that we were all given free will. I hate that Lucifer was not totally destroyed/eradicated after the rebellion. I hate holding on.
    Sometimes I imagine Hell wouldn’t be so bad…one would survive it for eternity, right? Hating God all the while? Or regretting all the while?
    I’m tired.
    I wish it would all end TONIGHT.


    • Hi Gbolahan, thank you for writing, and I’m so sorry to hear how hard things are for you right now. I have slightly different beliefs from you (I’m not sure that there were a literal Adam and Eve or a literal Lucifer, or that there’s a literal hell). But like you I do sometimes wish that I didn’t have quite so much free will to mess things up, and that the world wasn’t such a messed-up place.

      If hell is real, I believe it is simply the condition of shutting out God completely – of shutting out all light and life and love, of refusing and resisting all of God’s attempts to reach us. But I don’t believe that many ever choose that in the end. I am convinced that God continues to offer his love and mercy to us however much we choose to turn away, and that in the end he will win over most of our hearts. I don’t think our sin or even death can get in the way of his love, not since the cross and Easter.

      Please don’t give up hope.


      • Gbolahan says:

        No literal Adam, Eve, Lucifer, Lucifer’s rebellion? No literal hell, heaven, no literal Jesus, no literal Job, no literal God?? No literal rapture, judgement, no literal Paradise?
        Huh. Life is weird. Pointless even, I fear…


        • Hi Gbolahan, I didn’t quite mean it like that 🙂

          I believe very much in a real God, real Jesus, real Holy Spirit. The Christian God is a reality I believe I’ve experienced in small and partial but life-changing ways.

          But I’m not convinced that every part of the Bible is meant to be read literally. Rather I believe that some biblical concepts like Satan and hell are metaphors or symbols, only giving us a very rough and partial picture, because we don’t have language to describe these things, or experience to understand them fully. It’s a bit like trying to explain astrophysics to a toddler.

          And I think that the Genesis creation story is a poetic and theological/spiritual account but isn’t meant to be a scientific or strictly historical one. I don’t believe that the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil or the Tree of Life were actual horticultural varieties, but rather symbols. Similarly for the talking snake.

          I certainly don’t believe that life is pointless at all. Weird yes, but full of meaning and purpose – even if I don’t always understand it!

          May God bless you.


          • Gbolahan says:

            Errrr, OK…
            Please tell me what parts of the Bible you take to be non-literal…and also your Biblical basis for taking those specific parts (eg, that talking snake) to be non-literal.
            Thank you for your time.


            • I’d be interested to know where you’re coming from on this too – do you treat the whole Bible as literal truth / The Word of God, and if so what are your reasons?

              It would take a lot of space to explain my full views on the Bible, but here are few of my posts about it if you’re interested:
              Is the Bible the inspired Word of God?
              Is the Bible inerrant?
              Is the Bible truly perfect and perfectly true?

              More briefly, my overall view of the Bible is – it’s complex. In the New Testament, I see the Gospels and Acts as broadly accurate reporting based on eyewitness accounts, though they aren’t ‘perfect’ – they don’t always agree on every detail (as you would expect from genuine eyewitness reports). However, books like Revelation (and parts of Daniel and Ezekiel) are clearly in a different genre, often referred to as Apocalyptic literature, which uses highly charged visual symbols to represent spiritual realities – e.g. many-headed beasts and dragons, lakes of fire, bowls filled with judgement.

              With the Old Testament, we have to ask what genre a particular book or segment of book best fits with. And for me and many others, the first few chapters of Genesis appear to be in a mythical, poetic or semi-allegorical genre, with fantastical elements like talking snakes and Trees of Life / Knowledge – things you would not expect to find in a straightforward historical or scientific account.

              For the rest of the Old Testament, for the most part I would view it as broadly historical but not necessarily accurate in all details.


      • Ian says:

        So you’re saying the Bible’s all a pack of lies? That’s what you’re saying. You won’t be in hell longer than 2 seconds before you realise your terrible mistake.


        • Hey Ian, sorry I haven’t replied before – I went through a pretty rough patch last year and I’ve not looked at my blog for months till today.

          I find it interesting that on the one hand you seem to hate God so much, but on the other you believe I’ll burn in hell for not taking the Bible literally (and want to warn me about that, which I’m grateful for even if I disagree!).

          So God is evil or horrible, but the Bible is true… that just doesn’t quite work for me. I guess I’m just putting it the other way round – the Bible is horrible but God’s true! Well, not quite. More like, the Bible isn’t perfect (and certainly not all literally factually true) but God is good and God is love – though he isn’t necessarily nice, and doesn’t always make everything lovely.

          I don’t know why there’s so much awful stuff and it’s a question I come back to again and again – but for me it can’t be just that God’s bad, whatever we think the Bible tells us to believe.


        • PS I don’t think the Bible’s a pack of lies – just not all 100% literally true, or completely scientifically or historically accurate.


    • Paul says:

      Well, 100,000 Russian troops massing on the Ukrainian border suggests that the beginning of the end is coming soon…….


  46. Gbolahan says:

    sigh< yet more words, more blogs, more Posts, more opinions. To what end? To what point? That God be glorified??
    I give up. I’m tired. Read, read, read, and read…just more questions raised.


    • Forgive me… you did ask me to explain my views, but perhaps long theological explanations are not what you really need right now.

      I hear your weariness and frustration, and I wish I could help you more. All I can really do at the moment is be here, be human, listen, and pray.

      All I am sure of is that God is good, we are messed-up, but he loves us and calls us into relationship with him through Jesus. And I think that’s probably all we need to know.

      Liked by 1 person

  47. Brigerre Berry says:

    Bullshit is all I gotta say. U made garbage into bullshit!!


  48. Ian says:

    The devil is winning, has always won and will always win. Proof?
    Satan: 4 billion souls
    God:230 000

    The scoreboard speaks for itself. The fact that satan goes to the lake of fire, doesn’t take away the fact that he gets more souls, and wins. For all of eterninty, god will see his precious creation burn in brimstone – satan wins. Its a massacre. He has “Got god back” .
    ……… and there they will be tormented day and nite in the presence of the holy angles and the lamb”. . So that means god gets to see it – for ever – so dont tell me god wins. He loses. Hands down.


    • tonycutty says:

      I love this comment, Ian, thanks for posting it 🙂 Because if indeed the doctrine of Hell is true – the standard evangelical doctrine that God barbecues in Hell, for all eternity, those who do not believe in Jesus in this lifetime – then yes, you are right, the devil wins; albeit a Pyrrhic victory, of course!

      But not all Christians believe this. There is a groundswell of people nowadays who are looking carefully at the way in which the Bible has been translated, and, specifically, at the way in which the word ‘Hell’ has been used for several Greek and Hebrew words that actually mean nothing of the kind.

      Yes, it’s the old chestnut of ‘Oh, the Bible has been misunderstood/mistranslated/mis-whatever’. But it’s a real group of people who are doing some real study into this idea.

      My blog page giving my own rantings on this subject can be found here, if you’re interested – no pressure!


      Thanks again for your comment. I might just bag it for use in one of my articles, if that’s ok by you…. 🙂


    • Hi Ian, just to say I wholeheartedly agree with Tony’s response above 🙂

      Interested in where you get the 4 billion / 230,000 figures from – sounds to me like a very literal reading of particular verses from Revelation. Sticking with being literal, it would of course have to add up to a lot more than 4,000,230,000 as there are already more humans on the planet than that… but I really don’t believe that these passages from Revelation are meant to be read in this way as literal, factual statements. Rather it’s a wildly, extravagantly symbolic and allegorical piece of writing, typical of the apocalyptic genre, and I believe it’s always a mistake to try to take its statements at face value.

      I don’t believe in a literal hell and I’m not too sure about a literal Satan either… I’ve posted plenty about both on this blog, but I think Tony’s blog is a great place to go to for all this!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Gbolahan says:

      So, what if God does lose? Will that put money in your bank? Food on your table? Will that save you from hell? Wouldn’t YOU rather win? Or to put in your words, wouldn’t you rather “lose” with God than “win” with the devil?
      Heck, I didnt even know there was a competition in the first place 😅
      After Earth, if God ends up the only one in Paradise and all us humans are screaming (and hating God) in hell, would that really take any skin of His back? Nah. He remains the strongest Being/Living Thing in existence, so why not align ourselves with Him now, huh?

      Liked by 1 person

  49. Anonymous says:

    God is pure evil. I’m not being untruthful. God the father told me that he would make me go and sin, just because I screamed at him out of grief. He is trying to make me suffer beyond what I can handle just so he can make me evil like him. And I refuse to be like him. And God the father predestined the fall of man for his glory. And God told me he predestined people to hell before they were in their mother’s womb. They weren’t even babies yet. He throws people in hell just for little sins. And God the father plays favorites I noticed from what I’ve read about him and the interactions I had with him. He is a neglectful Father, yet he wants to intervene into the unbelievers life just to punish them out of hate.


    • Hi Anonymous, I’m really sorry to hear of your experiences, and of course I can’t really question what another person has experienced.

      All I can say is that I just don’t believe that the true God could ever behave in the way you have described. What you have experienced sounds to me far more like the devil (or some other being) pretending to be God.

      I’m not a very good father but I would never behave in that way towards my children, and I know no decent father who would. And God cannot be worse than we are – that would make no logical sense. If God is evil, then he cannot be God but the devil. Otherwise where would our own goodness come from, or any other goodness that we experience in the world?

      I do understand a little of how you feel and I know that sometimes it seems that God is a terrible tyrant and bully. But I have also experienced the love and mercy of God in Christ, and I am utterly convinced that God would never predestine anyone to hell, nor would he inflict suffering on us for his glory or entertainment. I’m better than that – you’re better than that. So God must be.


    • J-L says:

      I’m sorry for your grief, Anonymous. It can certainly seem at times that God is pure evil.

      Yes, it is terrible that God would predestine people to go to hell before they are even born. And what’s more, we’re expected to jump for joy that God would do such a thing, because God is infinitely wise. And if we don’t agree with that 100%, we put ourselves at risk of being the ones that get thrown into hell.

      This situation is summed up by: “You’d better be happy about all this misery and destructiveness happening to all sorts of people, or else it might happen to you!” Some people are afraid to admit this for fear of turning God against them. But others (like you) are brave enough to proclaim how offensive this really is.

      I think we’ve all known at least a few Christians (or other religious types) who are gleeful at the idea of a wrath-loving God.

      I’ll let you in on a little secret: The reason many of us (like you and me) think this situation is offensive, is because God Himself is offended by it, too. This might sound backwards to you if you’ve been exposed to many religious people who yearn for a wrathful and avenging God, but in reality God loves every single person ever created (right down to murderers, prostitutes, drug-addicts, rapists, kidnappers, thieves, and hate-mongers) and wishes to have every person live out eternity with Him in Heaven. He even loves atheists and people of every single religion!

      In fact, if there’s anything God hates, it’s not PEOPLE, but rather the IDEA (and the PROPAGATION of the idea) that God hates certain people, and throws them into hell “in His infinite wisdom.” Understandably, this idea is responsible for causing many people to turn away from God, which is precisely what God does not want.

      God loves all people — no matter how much they screw up — and it breaks his heart to have any of his beloved creation being told that God hates them. This is contrary to what God wants us to tell people (which is that God loves them very much, and that He will never stop loving any one of us, and that He eagerly awaits the moment when we make a decision to turn to God).

      So if God loves us all very, very much, why is the concept that God is hateful and wrathful so prevalent in today’s society (especially among religious groups), and why doesn’t God outright stop the spread of that concept?

      That’s a good question, and I’m not 100% sure of the answer. I do know that God wants us to learn the proper ways to share God, and that part of that learning process involves making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. Often we don’t realize how silly or foolish an idea is until we’ve believed it ourselves for a time.

      You mentioned that you once screamed at God out of grief. Believe it or not, a good parent is supposed to let their child vent their grief at times, even if it involves screaming. I would love to live out the rest of my life free of grief, but I know that God will probably allow much more grief to come my way before I die. Why is that? I won’t be able to give you a full answer until I die and ask God about it myself, so I’ll have to trust God that He knows what He’s doing. (In the meantime, I’m not afraid to complain about my grief to God, even if it does involve screaming and crying. God is big enough to take and accept me as I am, pouting and all.)

      Trusting God is a lot easier and more pleasant when you realize that He loves absolutely everyone (whether they love God back or not), and will never stop loving them throughout eternity. It’s just that bad ideas can be so popular and so easily propagated that it makes the truth of God’s love hard to see at times.

      Just in case you still think that God punishes those He hates, I will say that it’s not that God loves to torment people who are “not on God’s side,” but rather it’s that people who reject God are not as receptive to His blessings, and as a consequence tend to miss out on many of the blessings God wants them to receive. And turning to God won’t necessarily rid you of all your suffering and grief, but it will help you cope, even if it’s only in the knowledge that God deeply loves you and all those you come in contact with.


  50. Kyree says:

    If God is real why doesn’t he heal me? If asked for him to heal me but he hasn’t. I’ve asked for him to heal those around me but he doesn’t, all these people saying God is real he can heal you well I’ve asked and prayed and asked I have believed I was healed but it just doesn’t happen, all that some just don’t get healed is bull ship, the bible says ANYTHING is possible and I’m here suffering tremendously, I have contemplated suicide and I see no reason left for me to live, I’ve went through a lot of fuct up experiences if God loves us why doesn’t he appear in a damn dream or talk to us or something I hate him if he is real, he could’ve prevented me from being sick and now I am suffering,


    • Hi Kyree, thanks for getting in touch and I’m really sorry for taking so long to reply – I had some bad news at work and haven’t been checking my blog recently.

      I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through – it sounds incredibly hard. And I totally understand why you would feel angry with God for not healing you. I’ve raged at God many times for not healing people (or me), or for not helping out in the ways I thought he should. I could try to give you long theological answers to why God doesn’t seem to work the way we want most of the time, but I’m not sure that would help you feel any better right now.

      All I can say is that I’m convinced you’re better off living, however things feel. I really wanted to take my life about 20 years ago, when everything seemed incredibly dark and hopeless. But I didn’t, and now I’m so glad I didn’t. My life isn’t all shiny and happy and wonderful now – far from it – but I do have hope and lots of reasons to go on. And I really believe that can be true for you too. Please don’t give up.

      Do shout at God if it helps – he can take it. I believe he is there and that he does care more than we can know, but he doesn’t generally fix things quickly or in the ways we want. But I do believe that in the end he makes all well – though that can take a long time.

      Don’t give up!


    • Ian says:

      It sucks, he just does nothing. But yet he says he wants to heal us and wants us to prosper etc. It’s all f……… g bullshit. He does nothing. We can pray about ANYTHING and NOTHING HAPPENS.


  51. Leonie says:

    I am also one who has recently been feeling alot of hate towards God. I am 33 and when I was 16, I loved God alot. I had some struggles, of course, as all do, but I loved God and was convinced He loved me too. And then the pharmaceutical industry put their hands on me to ‘heal’ some acne, and I have been living in a nightmarish hell for nearly 15 years straight. Incompehensible pains in my body and mind, initially loosing all my friends, opportunities for studying or relationship.. But that was nothing compared to what happened the decade after that: pure horror. I was (still am mostly) in a bed, getteing severe dimentia due to heavy metal toxicity from dental fillings at only 23, then I fell into every trap of ‘healers’ that took alot of money but didnt heal much of anything and I only gotr worse. I remembered begging to God to please end this torture and help me, every single day for years and years.. And nothing, no contact with Him or myself or anyone (as I had become severely demented and autistic).. I feel like, when I was 16, I offered Him my heart and soul.. And then He took it and threw it to the dogs to feed on. The first years of my physical torture, I begged for healing;. after a few years of non-responsiveness, I started to just beg for death, which He didnt grant me either. So, the all-seeing, all-loving God some say He is, saw it, and did nothing.. And the strange thing, I can forgive others who have hurt me or others, because I know they are not all-knowing and probably suffered too, so I understand.. But God? he should know more, right?.. How cold can He be, I ask? I dont know. Anyway, I hope the hatred goes away some day, but I dont think I will ever trust Him again.


    • Dear Leonie, thank you so much for your incredibly honest words and I’m so sorry I haven’t responded before. Last year I went through an incredibly difficult time after being made redundant, and I’ve only just today looked at my blog after many months.

      I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through and I can relate to much of this from my own recent experiences (though yours sound a lot worse). At times I’ve shouted and even sworn at God, called him a liar and worse things, raging against him for putting me through such torment or at least for not taking it away or making it easier. I’ve also questioned how on earth can I trust a God who allows awful things to happen to so many people, even those who cry out to him.

      I don’t have any easy answers – I can’t believe God can really be evil or absent, but he does often seem to be and that’s so hard to understand. I don’t know why he lets us suffer and I certainly don’t ever want to put the blame on those who are suffering. I do still have hope that ‘in the end, all will be well’, and that one day we will understand – but sometimes that hope is pretty faint.

      I will pray for you – please pray for me too.


  52. Skay says:

    Hello people,
    First of all I want to say God is love not that He just loves but He is love, He is holy and He is just. He is our creator and our Father. In all of this He gives us free will to choose Him or not. The choice is hard but its there. Hating Him wont change that….we keep blaming Him for making things happen without seeing the real enemy…the devil and our flesh. Make right choices, love and fear Him and know the real enemy.


  53. Anonymous says:

    I really hate God that filthy scumbag since he makes innocent people suffering for no reason at all.


  54. Isha says:

    I am really really resentful at God because of all the crap he is making me endure. And yet I always have to hear that I am wrong and I am the wicked and evil brat from everyone. I have to be grateful to God for having been given a “blessed” life when ever since I was a 4 year old kid till the present day age of 20 – I can only remember feeling negative emotions! Like if I just counted the number of times I felt genuinely happy in my life – they would be few – I can actually count them with the fingers on my hand.

    People say that life is the result of the decisions we make – but when I’m just a kid – what control do I have? I did not choose or ask for this life to be given to me. When I was mercilessly bullied and isolated by people from the age of 4 till I graduated high school. I did nothing to deserve people taking advantage of me and walking all over me as I was naive and the youngest kid in class. I have had so many rumours spread about me in my school days and my reputation damaged so much that at 13 I started my severe depression. Was all of that in my control? Did I ask for that?

    The same time I had overly critical parents who expected me to be perfect and I had a father who took out his anger on me – anytime he felt annoyed or frustrated. I was never allowed to argue and I was told if I disrespect my parents I will not be successful and blessed in life. So APPARENTLY I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANYTHING THEY DO AND THEY ARE ENTITLED TO TREAT ME AS I LIKE.

    SOMEBODY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…. TELL ME THE ABOVE STATEMENT IS WRONG. I cannot take God seriously if he expects me to respect my dad after how he treated me. DO NOT EXPECT ME TO RECONCILE BECAUSE THAT “IS WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME AS A CHRISTIAN”. I am going to literally throw up on my keyboard if someone says – I have to love and respect my parents “just because they gave birth to me”!.

    My whole childhood and teenage and school days I was under such extreme emotional scarring that I believed that is all what I deserve in life – to be treated like crap while trying to be the kindest and nicest girl ever! And so I was passive and anxious and was an underachiever in my school days – I mean I did pretty well in the eyes of the rest of the world (it even made some people jealous and just use me for getting good grades)- but I know I could have done better. When I finally did not make it to my preferred university in the first go and got grades a bit less than what I wanted – it was like the straw on the camel’s back!!!! IT FELT LIKE NO MATTER HOW NICE I AM AND HOW HARD I TRY THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING AGAINST ME…

    That year and half was a horribly low point – I sunk into depression, had extreme bitterness and anger in my soul and had recurring flashbacks of my school days – it took me a while to internalise everything that happened to me – the 12 years of being screwed over, used and bullied and isolated by different people – EVERY SINGLE DAY. When I actually came to terms with it – I was dysfunctional!! I would spend months crying and unable to get out of bed. To add insult to the injury my parents said I was being a brat and spoilt and so many “elders” and “Christians” said I will be a big failure in life. My relatives and cousins were mean and started judging me and for months I felt the whole world hated me.

    At the worst point of my emotional turmoil I started getting autoimmune diseases (age 18) and was not getting healed after going to doctors – I kept this a secret because this was the summer before going to college and this time I did not want to stay back at home so I sucked up my pain the whole summer. I had a painful ulcerated bladder, digestive issues and insomnia. I tried pain management and supplements over those four months but there’s only so much I can do to avoid pain. On one hand I was being tormented by my parents and on the other hand my health was breaking down and I just did not want to tell anyone about it – all I wanted to do was suffer for a few months in silence – and go to college where I could be an adult and find help from doctors. It is hard to heal when I am already having to deal with so much toxicity from those around me – I decided if I am alone I could heal myself in a better way so I decided to involve nobody in my problems.

    Finally I got the college of my dreams! Since the fall of 2016 it has been a very individual journey for me. In fact I am glad I have been handling all of this mostly by myself – I do not need other people’s drama near me. With all my poor physical health – I rarely go to class. I study at home and in my free time research on supplements to heal myself. I am a loner and the few people I told about my problems really don’t care about me really – they just talk to me when they want something from me! The rest of the time they don’t care about me at all and even make fun of me. So ocassionally I do not get along well with people in my dorm. YOU KNOW ONCE WHEN I TOLD MY MOTHER ABOUT THIS – SHE SAID THAT MY POOR GRADES IN COLLEGE IS BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF BLESSING FROM GOD BECAUSE I DO NOT GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE WELL….

    HOLY ****!! Like are you kidding me?? Somebody please tell me that is wrong!! Please … please…. Why am I being shamed for standing up to people who walk over me and treat me like a doormat!? I am trying my best to catch up with my grades. The past two years have been so much trial and error for me.

    In fact the summer of 2017 after my first year in college – which I survived – I tried to be a better person when I went back home. I tried to forgive and be the bigger person in spite of all the shit that my family and everyone put me through. Their horrible treatment of me is what damaged me so much and made me so sick in the first place! But hey, I always give people wayy too many chances – so I tried to be nice! My God, was I in for disappointment! My parents completely ignored the fact how much I was adjusting the entire vacation. They overloaded me with so much work – completely ignoring the fact that I was terribly exhausted from all the travelling and I was actually there for a freaking vacation! And when I so much as complained – I was being told I was being a brat. Even my cousins and relatives – had minimal interest in seeing me after one year. I have no idea what wrong did I do to them?

    By the time the summer break was over instead of feeling refreshed and happy I was exhausted and overburdened. As my second year started in the fall of 2017 I started with my downward spiral. Some feeling or sensation of not being good enough or liked enough – it got me into a downward spiral and I did some stupid things like binge eating, being addicted to the internet and developing OCD. I did not take good care of myself at all.

    Instead being desperate to be liked by others – I became a complete pushover and bent over backwards to help others and make others happy. I think you can sense a pattern here … it did not work out and I felt all the more drained and used and betrayed. In winter 2018 I had severe insomnia throughout my exam days and failed the semester. My health declined – i got severe depression and felt like not wanting to live.

    Finally spring came and I decided to get back even after being pushed down so badly! My depression became less and I started taking control of my life but all these months of being a doormat, not taking care of myself and poor sleep and nutrition – it has led me to developing Type 2 Diabetes. Since the end of May, I have severe insomnia and thirst. I feel exhausted and miserable all the time and I have to cut out carbs and meat and go on a really strict diet if I am to make some progress.

    Not to mention my parents and I are not on good terms. A certain mutual contact is ignoring my messages and my dad things it is my fault!! Even though I did nothing wrong and the other person is ignoring me!! How unreasonable can a parent get? Because of all the classes I skipped, I have extremely huge workload with my exams coming in a month.

    I feel exhausted and stressed to death. I have lost my faith in God… I am ready to be a completely different person. I CANNOT SAY THE SAME LARGE HEARTED GIRL THAT I WAS WHO ALWAYS GIVES PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT. Maybe I did not take control of my life the way I should have and that is why I am in such a mess. I read somewhere if I do not control of the steering wheel of my life, someone else will sit on the driver’s seat! Well I just want to ruthlessly reach the top and achieve my goals. I will still be a nice person – but ONLY TO A SELECT FEW! The rest of the world will see this cut throat b***h.

    I AM READY TO EMBRACE MY DARKER SIDE. Instead of trying to be nice to people – I will tell people how I actually feel about them. If I am offended by how someone treats me – i won’t just put up with it- I will throw a tantrum! I DON’T WANNA KEEP IT NICE ANYMORE… I WANNA KEEP IT REAL…. I want the rest of my life to go exactly the very way I want… Like this perfect revenge story where I take back everything I lost one step at a time and reach the top… And then end those who make me feel bad!!


    I will grab anything and everything I want out of life no matter the cost… coz I have nothing more to lose…


  55. Marsha says:

    Their is no Good in this world. Men have Dominion over it. It’s desolate and of more men who seek after their own desires and destroy everything because they seek the pride of Life


    • Bless you Marsha, thank you for taking the time to comment and I’m so sorry I’ve not been checking or responding to comments for a very long time. I do understand how you feel that there is no Good in this world. I do believe that there is Good, but it can be very hard to see it sometimes. I hope you find it soon.


  56. 36 year old virgin says:

    I turned away from your God because he wanted so much pain and suffering. When love was needed the most Christians didn’t give it to me. Pagans did. No lie. I prayed and asked for deliverance from certain circumstances but your God left me with a big middle finger. I even vowed my celibacy to your God because I cared. Again I was left with a big middle finger. Now I’m giving YOU the finger. Your God is a sadist and an expert at pain and suffering. Someone who gets off on sorrow, tears and pain. I will never again return to a worship service in my life. After reading the comment of the person who lost their daughter in a car crash after leaving Christianity that only adds fuel to the fire. God loves pain and suffering. So does this mean that I’ve walked away from Christianity God is going to kill me too? What a psychotic serial killer.


  57. Tanya says:

    Hi, I totally get your perspective. I feel the same. I love Jesus n never feel hate towards Him but I have hatred towards God. I struggle with it. I find Him very cruel at times. Thanks for sharing. It’s good to know others experience the same conundrum 😊


    • Bless you Tanya, thanks so much for your comment and I’m so sorry for not replying before – I’ve been taking a long break from blogging and haven’t checked comments for over a year. I think it’s okay to love and hate God at the same time – or to love Jesus and hate God as you say. Honest hate is better than false love – and I think honest hate can ultimately be transformed by Jesus into love. But it’s not always a pleasant or easy process! Bless you so much.


  58. Guest says:

    If God was real, then we would really have no problems at all in this world today. We need a real God.


    • Hi, when you say ‘we need a real God’, I’m interested in whether you mean that there IS a real God but it isn’t the Christian one, or whether you just think there’s no God (but that we do need one)?

      I sort of partly agree, depending on what you mean. I personally do believe from my own experiences that there IS a real God, and also that he is best seen in the person of Jesus. But I understand that it doesn’t feel like there’s a real God in charge much of the time, and also I get it when people really don’t like Christianity.


      • Guest says:

        We really do need a real God to solve our problems today since this God that we have now really doesn’t care at all unfortunately, especially with all the suffering that we have out there now.


    • PS also I don’t agree that we wouldn’t have any problems if there were a real God – I think that’s an unrealistic view of life unfortunately. And sadly humans (including me) create many of the problems that we do have – not all of them, for sure, but a fair few. Parents can’t save their kids from messing up all the time, and I don’t think God can (or would be right to) either.


  59. Shirley Moore says:

    Today those words came out of my mouth I hate you God….and then I wanted to die …strange but I realized it was OK and then I found this post …I so glad I found it and could be honest ..I think I hate religion as much if not more ..And I never want to go to a church ever again ..Married an unbeliever stayed 33 years then left ..because I believe what Paul taught ..If the unbeliever wants to dwell with you let him Dwell ..he scantified through the believer …What a waste of time ..


    • Bless you Shirley (sorry, that sounds very religious and that’s probably not what you want!). Thank you for taking the trouble to comment and I’m sorry for not replying sooner. I’m absolutely sure it is okay to say ‘I hate you God’ and mean it – and if he’s real and genuinely loving (which I do still believe he is), I think he will be okay with it. And if he’s not real or loving then I’m not sure it matters what we say!

      It’s perfectly okay to feel how you feel about God and about church and the Bible – you can’t choose how you feel anyway, so better to acknowledge it than hide it. And it’s just possible that one day you might feel differently, and that’s okay too.

      I don’t feel hate towards God any more (most of the time!), but I get it when people do, and I don’t think we should beat ourselves up about it.


  60. Tom Batterson says:

    I truly hate god, and everything he stands for. I dint hate the devil although believe he is more worthy of us than so called god. Sick of people claiming everything thats wrong is due to god giving us free will, thats Crap. I respect the people that do believe, as long as I get the same respect for my beliefs


    • Hi Tom, thanks for your comment and sorry for taking a while to reply. I’d be glad to hear more of your beliefs and why you think God is so evil or useless (assuming you believe he’s real?), and why you think the devil is more worthy.

      For myself, as I’ve said I don’t any longer believe that God is evil or useless – BUT there have been times when I’ve felt that he is, and have felt very angry with him or let down by him. There’s so much I don’t understand but I believe I’ve experienced God’s real love and that has put other things in perspective, for me.

      I’m not fully convinced by the free will argument either – certainly not that everything bad in the world is the fault of humans. But on the other hand, I can see just in myself how much and how often I mess stuff up, causing hurt to others and myself usually without meaning to. I can’t blame God for that – it’s my actions and decisions. But other evils are maybe harder to understand.


  61. David Adams says:

    How can you still believe in a ‘just’ ‘god’ when you read the story of Job? Job loved loved ‘god’, only for ‘god’ to allow someone who HATED Him to torture Job so He could be “glorified”? So if ‘god’ allowed your children to be killed ‘just to glorify His name’, you would be ok with that? Or when you read about how ‘god’ protected David from Saul . . . but oops! no such protection for Uriah from David? Or when “christians’ do you wrong wrong wrong wrong, go to church and ‘pray’ for you yet do absolutely nothing to make right what wrong they did to you? Yes, I am talking about “dying to ask you” in Stockbridge, GA . . . . Or when you see people like Joel Olsteen, Creflo $, Jimmy ‘I am sorry (I got caught! not ONCE but TWICE)’ Swaggart, Ken Copeland, and others making MILLIONS selling the FREE salvation of Jesus Christ? Some people say these people will all get their ‘due’ in good time . . . yet their lives continue blessed blessed blessed while I see parents watching helplessly as their child dies a painful, slow disease . . .

    Or you consider the 6,000 Americans who have ALS even though He could ‘speak’ and there would be no more ALS? ALS is a very painful slow disease that takes about five years to end in death – though Stephen Hawking survived almost thirty years with it . . . Could you really look Stephen Hawking eyeball to eyeball, tell him “Jesus loves you” and believe what you said? I sure could not.

    For a ‘god’ that self claims He is loving and just, I sure fail to see it these days . . .

    Thank you for your time.


    • Dear David, thank you for what you’ve said – really honest and powerful. I don’t just want to give a glib, quick response so I need to think more about what you’ve raised before getting back to you properly.

      In the meantime I’d just say – yes, all those things you say are true. Bad people prosper – not always, not forever, but certainly they do for now. Terrible things happen to innocent people, and there is so much suffering and injustice in the world. People who, like me, do continue to put their hope in a good and loving God have to face up to these realities and try to make sense of them – or at the very least acknowledge that they are real.

      I don’t have any quick or easy answers – there are none. For now I’ll just say that, despite all the awful realities you’ve pointed out, I do still (most of the time) believe in a good and loving God who desires, and is slowly working for, the redemption of all things and all people. And I’ll do my best to give you a slightly fuller answer as soon as I can!

      Best wishes, Harvey


      • Jim says:

        God is very evil and rotten altogether since he kept a very good man like me single and alone for no reason at all. I was always hoping to meet the right good woman to settle down with to have a family, but God for some unknown reason didn’t want me to have the life that so many very lucky other men have. Then again, if God had been a lot smarter like the good old days which i definitely would had met a real good woman to settle down with to have a family that i still don’t have today. Why did God create so many very mean and nasty women nowadays? Especially the ones that will Curse at many of us good single men for no reason when we will try to start a conversation with a woman that we really think would be very nice to meet. And i know other friends that had this happened to them as well which really doesn’t even make any sense why most women are really like this today. A great deal of women unfortunately nowadays are just so very horrible since they have no respect and no manners at all when it comes to many of us good single men very seriously looking for love today. It was a real good thing though that God was a lot smarter in the past, otherwise this world would’ve never grown in population over thousands and thousands of years since women were definitely so much different back then compared to today. God made women so very high maintenance, independent, very selfish, greedy, spoiled, picky, and very money hungry today compared to the old days when they really hardly had nothing at all. And now they want everything today that they never had back then which these are the very real reasons why so many of us men can’t find love today even when we really try.


  62. Author/moderator notice: it seems like the comment thread on this (very old) post is in danger of being hi-jacked by men with what looks suspiciously like an InCel agenda, something I absolutely do not endorse. I will not be responding to any new comments that appear to be from InCels and I will likely block any comments that I deem unnecessarily offensive or misogynistic. I will however gladly continue to engage with anyone who wishes to express their negative feelings towards God but without an InCel/misogynistic agenda.


  63. None of your business says:

    God is saddistic. He loves to see his “children” suffer how else can you explain it
    Look at what he did to his own “son”. He did absolutely nothing wrong yet was sent to suffer & die a horrible death. What kind of God is that? If that’s how he felt about his own son, imagine how he feels about the rest of us. Worship that? No thanks


    • I hear you and if that’s what I thought God was like, I’d totally agree with you. But I don’t think that’s what the crucifixion is about at all – quite the opposite. As I see it, it’s God himself becoming one of us (the incarnation), and taking on himself all the pain and crap we can throw at him (crucifixion), and then bringing good out of it (resurrection, redemption). That’s the God I believe in, most of the time. I believe that Jesus chose the cross, not because God’s a sadist but because it was the only way to overcome the awful mess and pain of the world. I don’t know how it works, and I know the world is still full of pain and mess – but I also know that at times in my own life, I’ve seen the pain and mess transformed and transfigured.


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