Still Evangelical Liberal after all these years?

Astute longer-standing visitors to this blog may have noticed that I’ve been a bit absent for a while. Up till the end of 2016 I was posting monthly (ish), and then Stuff Happened, and I only posted twice in 2017, not at all in 2018 and just once in 2019. Last year with Covid lockdowns I gave it another go, but still only managed 4 posts.

(And it turns out I forget what I’ve said and repeat myself, so I may well just have re-hashed the same post multiple times over the last few years.)

Anyway, it’s been a while since I was blogging regularly, and a fair bit’s happened and changed in that time – both out in the big world and here in my own life, my thinking and beliefs.

So I thought it was time to re-evaluate the blog, its title and its aims – if nothing else, to remind me what it’s about, and as an introduction for newer readers. But also to see whether it’s time to change direction – or to change name.

What’s an Evangelical Liberal anyway?

Why ‘The Evangelical Liberal’? When I started the blog 10 years ago I chose the title partly just because I liked it – it felt playful, paradoxical and mildly provocative. I wasn’t really using it to set out a definite position or to propose a manifesto – almost the opposite. I just wanted to raise questions, to query received orthodoxy, to provoke people (and myself) to think outside boxes and labels.

It was also an expression of where I’d come from, where I was moving towards and the uncomfortable mix of beliefs wrestling within me. I was raised fairly liberal Anglo-Catholic, did the prodigal thing in my late teens, and then ‘converted’ at 21 to a full-on charismatic-evangelical Christianity. I followed this ardently for several years, and then gradually started to notice that I wasn’t convinced by or comfortable with aspects of evangelical Christianity. I even seemed to be becoming that worst of things (from an evangelical perspective) – a liberal Christian. Some would say, no Christian at all.

I struggled with this of course. I was afraid of wandering away from Truth, of Losing my Salvation; yet I felt increasingly unable to offer full assent to many evangelical doctrines and practices. So I explored ways of becoming a bit liberal while still remaining partly evangelical; of incorporating elements of liberal theology within a broadly evangelical framework (or possibly the other way round). I didn’t want to stray too perilously far from the safety of the evangelical fold, but I did want to be honest about my doubts and concerns.

So I started blogging as ‘The Evangelical Liberal’. I didn’t – and still don’t – want to go the whole hog and be just liberal. I didn’t and don’t feel I can entirely chuck out the Bible, or the miraculous, or all of the things I experienced and learnt back in my more full-on charismatic-evangelical days. I still need that anchor, and I still value (and believe) aspects of those traditions. But nor do I want to go back to being just evangelical – that feels to me like returning from freedom to captivity.

So ‘Evangelical Liberal’ is also an attempt at reconciliation or synthesis between these two seeming polar opposites; an effort to make peace between the two apparently opposing camps. I grew up in an ecumenical Anglican and Roman Catholic family and my parents worked hard for unity between these traditionally warring denominations. And it’s built into the fabric of my personality to try and see both sides of any argument or division. I don’t know if it is ever possible to reconcile evangelical with liberal, but I feel compelled to try.

What’s changed?

As I said though, some things have changed over the last few years. Have my beliefs changed significantly in that time? Yes and no.

I hope I’ve become a little less angry and react-y, and have moved on slightly from just knee-jerk reacting against evangelicals. We’ll see.

I’m certainly not actively rejecting most mainstream doctrines – the Trinity, Incarnation, Atonement, Resurrection etc. It’s more a case of re-interpreting some of them, finding new ways to think about them that shed some of the unfortunate baggage they’ve accrued. And it’s also challenging or querying particular emphases – for example, I still think evangelicalism makes too much of divine sovereignty, biblical inerrancy and human depravity, as well as (in my view) slightly misunderstanding them.

I think I’m actually both more liberal and more evangelical than I was 3 years ago. My faith feels more alive again, more real, more meaningful – and it still has both these aspects, the evangelical and the liberal.

However, there are other equally (perhaps more) important aspects – the charismatic and the contemplative in particular. I’m really more charismatic than I am evangelical, and more drawn to the contemplative tradition than to the purely liberal. Maybe ‘The Contemplative Charismatic’ would do more justice to where I’m at these days.

It’s Complicated

Other titles I’ve been considering for this blog are ‘It’s Complicated’, ‘Seeing Both Sides’ and ‘The Excluded Middle’. On pretty much every issue I look at – theological, ethical, political, sociological – my overriding impression is always that ‘it’s complicated’. I’ve rarely found any issue with definite, single, simple answers.

And I do just have the kind of mind that sees complication rather than simplicity; sees nuance rather than black-and-white; sees the exceptions rather than the rules, the little errors rather than the overall consistency.

As I say, I’m also programmed to see both sides, always – I often find it very hard to come down definitely on one side or the other, and usually end up (uncomfortably) in the middle.

Seeing complexity isn’t always helpful. I too easily get lost in the detail and fail to see the bigger picture. And sometimes decisive action is needed rather than endless thinking; sometimes a side has to be chosen and a stand made.

But when pondering the deep questions of theology and faith, I think complexity, nuance and a degree of uncertainty often are helpful – and all too often are lacking. There are things we don’t know and things we maybe can’t know.

There are also things we think we know but are wrong about – plenty in my case. So I think an ability to see the other side is hugely important, to help move us out of entrenchment and conflict into dialogue and maybe ultimately harmony. I don’t want this blog just to be an echo chamber of like-minded people all jaded with evangelicalism. I hugely appreciate those voices that agree with me, but if I’m only ever preaching to the choir then we all might as well be talking to ourselves.

Nonetheless, I think the phrase ‘The Evangelical Liberal’ does already encapsulate complexity, and does already point to seeing both sides. So I’ll probably stick with it for now. But please shout at me if I do just go on writing the same post over and over again in slightly different ways.

And if you’ve got any ideas for things you’d like me to write about and save us all from endless repetition, let me know and I’ll see what I can do.